Dispelling A Few Myths

And yes, they are myths. Two issues (among many, of course) that really rile me up & irritate me to no end. Here goes:

Recently, a single friend of mine was lamenting on some dating drama. Despite being an ambitious, successful person you'd objectively say was a total catch, this person is still on that search for "the One."

Now having faced a lot of that myself as a single person & still believing it was a total fluke that led me to meeting my "One," I can relate well. I also had a lot of rejection from guys + tended to be the dumped party more than the one who did the dumping. I got a lot of flack for being who I am & refused to apologize or change my personality for anyone. I felt I ought to be accepted for me, not what someone wanted me to be. Truthfully, I think everyone deserves that in a relationship. I feel that if you would change who you are for someone, it means that you don't value or love yourself. You know what they say about people who don't love themselves & accept themselves for who they are? You can't love anyone else + they can't love you either.

So, leading to myth #1 to dispel: Women want guys who treat them like shit. The "bad boy," if you will. Not leather jacket or adventurous person but "bad boy" like "player."

This is the biggest crock of shit I've heard, if I do say so myself. At least, if you're talking about women who are mature adults operating within a rational mindset. Women who are not abuse victims or suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction or other afflictions that mess w/your head.

Perhaps youth but I knew better than to put up with that crap from others when I was 7/8, okay? I knew not to moon over my first grade boyfriend who gave me my first kiss and then decided to make goo goo eyes at my best friend the next year. I recognized him for the slug he was & I was 7/8 years old.

If you are over 18 years old and operating under a rational mindset, then what's your excuse for rejecting "nice guys" in favor of the "bad boy?" You're the kind of woman who makes my gender look pathetic & who is kicking us in the teeth. You are a far bigger embarrassment than any adult film star, stripper or prostitute could hope to be.

If you're putting up with that because you can't afford to leave, well that argument is an endorsement for prostitution. After all, aren't prostitutes trading sex for money & often not enjoying it? Yet, some of these same people are holier than thou religious types who'd shun prostitutes, web cam girls, etc. in a second while shouting about how they'll burn in Hell for "sinning."

I told my friend that if someone doesn't want to date someone w/ambition, value for other's dreams, income and who'd treat a date with respect, then they've got serious problems. NO ONE should have to change who they are to have a romantic relationship; again, everyone deserves to have a person who supports their dreams & loves them for who they are.

I partly said it b/c I know that if my friend were in my hometown, he'd have to fight off the women with a stick. He may not like the caliber of some of these women but he is a staircase up from the deadbeats some of them took up with. Maybe it was slim pickings? I don't know.

But the women who put up with the deadbeats and have no affliction that you can get treatment for (meaning they voluntarily and freely put up with it) are women I can't respect. They are worse than the deadbeats since they allow it to happen & are showing great examples for any children they may have.

Don't give me that "I'm doing this for the kids" bit, either. Do you REALLY think my living with an alcoholic parent in a 2 parent household was better for my well-being than my parents separating and having to live in a "broken" home? My home was already "broken" by living with the alcoholic. Same goes for any kid living in a home where their parents are unhappy & are not the Cleavers.

They also perpetuate that little "bad boys" myth. Contrary to Family Guy, a real woman would kick you right in testicles if you treated her badly & that's if she felt charitable at the time. I expect any female friend of mine would do it just out of respect for the female gender.

Now to myth #2: any part of New Jersey qualifies as NYC.

It DOES NOT, for the hundredth time. East Rutherford, NJ is NOT, nor will it ever be, NYC. This is in reference to a music concert my husband & I wanted to go to years back that claimed it was their NYC show when the concert was in East Rutherford, NJ. People had to drive to get there & undoubtedly would have had to pay a fortune for parking after going through the tolls.

I don't care how any of you want to color it, Jersey is a separate place. Be proud of being in New Jersey. It's not a bad state and it does have things you can't find in NYC or other areas. After all, they have cheaper gas, actual Chick-Fil-A restaurants, Dairy Queen & other things you can't find in NY state, much less NYC. I think it has its own little quirks, really.

But don't call yourself a NYC resident if you're living in Jersey. It's not the same thing. You're not on our transit line. Stop being a wannabe & claim yourself as a Jersey resident. Think of it this way: at least you don't live in West Virginia.

* Sorry, I'm from NC & we actually rag on West Virginia just as NY residents rag on Jersey.

And event promoters, same goes for you! We're not stupid and we're not buying it. Why don't I just start calling Connecticut "Boston" or Rhode Island "Connecticut?" I've never heard anyone do that. Either pay up for NY space or just be honest & admit your event is in Jersey, all right? Stop trying to steal our thunder!