6 Days After the Hurricane - Cabin Fever & Leadership

As we all know, Hurricane (or Big Ass Storm, if you prefer) Sandy came through here last Sunday night/Monday morning. Tons of people lost power, Internet access, TV signals, homes, etc.

The Angry Redheaded Lawyer was not one of them. Nor was anyone living on her block. Despite living surrounded by trees partially threaded with power lines, we didn't lose a single thing. We didn't even lose our TV signal & that's often the first thing to go. Last year, when Irene happened (a huge much ado over nothing) we lost our signal briefly but got it back. The real problem was the Internet & phone line. That started the ordeal that led me to the community board meeting & to call my local representatives; it probably also contributed to the presence of FiOS this year. We got it recently & have been fine.

We also engaged in prep beforehand so we've been fine with food & all that stuff. The big things affecting us are cabin fever & lack of meaningful public transit to Manhattan. I don't consider a 1+ hour bus ride to a subway station that's running to get into Manhattan to be viable public transit. I want my local subway back up, damn it!

There are also the gas lines. My neighborhood is not exactly close to the highway or way out in the suburbs but there are lines at our gas stations, at least 2 that I know of in the area. I passed by one of them on my way home after some neighborhood reconnaissance. If you have to wait in those lines for gas, you've got my sympathies. This is definitely a time I'm glad I don't live in the suburbs & have to drive to work.

I'm hoping the gas situation will be taken care of before 2 weeks from now since we are planning to go out of town & driving for that purpose. Due to the mandatory TSA groping of all people who dare to book an airline ticket combined with not getting to sit next to my spouse, paying to check luggage, ungodly flight delays and the increasing chance of lost luggage, you couldn't pay me to fly on an airplane. I refuse to get on one unless it's a private jet & I vowed years ago never to fly coach again after my luggage was in the wrong place 3 different times. Since holiday travel is a choice, I'll choose driving; we just have to make sure the weather holds for us.

Minor problems, don't you think? Now you see why I didn't do a post about it immediately. I know people who only today got their power back. I know people who know people who lost everything. Some of the folks I know who did fine even went to go volunteer to help those less fortunate.

As I'm not a brawn person & have no way to meaningfully get anywhere, I've opted to stay home & out of the way. I've also thought about the people worse off than me the second I think I've got it rough. I told friends if they were in my area, they could come here for a shower & some cookies (I made a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies with oatmeal on Sunday; I'm told they came out good & I was trying to use up eggs in case our power went out).

After it passed through, I was like "That's it?" We'd done all this prep, had some non-perishable goods & I was ready for the worst. I figured our area got off lucky & asked others how they were holding up. Facebook was a good guide to see where people lost power, pictures of the damage, get updates on friends & loved ones, etc.

In the meantime, I didn't leave my house until today to assess how our area did. Yep, I was in my house for exactly 1 week. My husband was forced to go back to work on Thursday after buses in our area were running but he considered it a relief since he could get to his branch by taking 1 bus and it would get him out of the house. Eventually, cabin fever gets to you. I've promised myself when the transit system returns that I'm living it up in Manhattan. I did consider exploring more of our neighborhood in light of this situation to do something constructive if I got bored but my husband had taken out season 3 of Nurse Jackie on DVD before the storm.

Guess what I ended up doing when there was nothing on TV? Watching Nurse Jackie. If you haven't seen it, you should. Accuracy issues aside, it's a well written and well acted show. It's on Showtime, so what else do you expect? I've not seen many crappy shows on the pay channels. The style reminds me a lot of The Sopranos so if you like that show, you'll probably like Nurse Jackie. It does star Edie Falco, after all & you see Jackie do things you wish people would do in real life.

For instance, in one episode she's in a restaurant having lunch with one of the other characters. You overhear the waitress at another table being berated by this jerky business guy. Jackie, instead of leaving it alone as her doctor companion asks, strolls over, says she's the manager & makes this guy look like shit in front of the client he's trying to impress. The waitress is so grateful to Jackie that she comps their meal.

My husband sees this scene & says "You'd totally do something like that." Probably, considering I have & still do know people working in the service industry.

I also watched other DVDs of mine like the movie Casual Sex? (a film I learned about when living with my law school roommate who'd bought it for herself on DVD). Saw The Nightmare Before Christmas yesterday. My husband & I have a literally crazy amount of DVDs; my sister once said we were Blockbuster b/c we have so many. Except we have a lot of stuff you'd never see in the typical video store aside from any of my company's films. There's a decent amount of obscure titles in there & films from earlier decades. Most films we've seen today or in the past decade are "one & done"; you see them once & there's just no re-watchability to them.

I learned other people I know are in the same boat but it still makes you feel like a member of the 1% to have all that while other people have real problems. Unlike some of these 1% motherfuckers like that Mary Wittenburg, the president of NY Road Runners who apparently went on TV and bitched and moaned about how cancelling the NYC Marathon meant all this lost revenue to the city and how all the runners traveling from out of town lost money or Bloomberg (who we already knew was a scumbag), I have a conscience & enough class not to kick people while they are down by closing off roads, diverting resources, setting up generators for the media, etc.

I do agree that it sucks those people flew in from out of the country & all to run in it. I agree they should have been told sooner so they could change their plans. But I don't think they get to displace homeless storm victims for their little marathon or use up resources that could go to the recovery effort or divert police, sanitation workers, and others trying to help victims for a (as I read it in a few places) "frivolous event." The storm was announced everywhere & surely they could have read about the damage it caused. Would these people have gone to New Orleans a week after Katrina to participate in some event that would close off the few open streets, provide comped water bottles, generators, etc. right in the faces of people who don't have power, clean water, etc.?

I will say this: at least there is more leadership around here than New Orleans had after Katrina. Governor Cuomo also wrote a letter to the utility companies saying that they'd better be getting power returned ASAP, they knew about issues and had better fix them or he'd be revoking their licenses to work in this state. That should make you feel a little better about our leadership. I wish more politicians in all areas of office did that & followed through; I'd be a hard core supporter of someone like that. There's too much pussy footing around in government & really in all parts of life. More people need to grow some balls, say "Don't fuck with me or else!" & then follow through.

At this point, I'm just seeing what happens in the next few weeks. Oh, and there IS looting going on in parts of the city that were affected per someone I know who's out there volunteering. Social media updates from people who are present (especially those you know) are more accurate than the media or what some politician says. Don't ever forget that.

Am I Too Poor or Just Too Cheap & Higher Purposes

Seriously, I'm not sure whether we're too poor or just too cheap to do things many people do. We went to a New Year's Eve Eve party last night for an event held by one of my friends & whose entertainment is top notch. My husband adamantly insisted we go to this even based on his good time at the event they had on the 4th of July.

We get to the event and go into the top floor room. It was very nice: wasn't too crowded, you could hear the band as well as your conversation if you went to the sitting area and you got a nice view of the NYC skyline and the street below.

We, and it seems others, were led to believe that both rooms were accessible all night. We saw some great burlesque performers & heard good music. The emcee said there would be more there but after we get downstairs to see another performance and my husband needs someplace to sit without being commanded to spend money or sitting in a stranger's lap. Not to mention I don't like to be standing around in the middle of a crowd & blocking people from walking around (since I hate that being done to me, especially in the tourist areas).

As we try to go back upstairs, we're told the upstairs is closed. Apparently the venue decided to do this to the party. Downstairs, meanwhile, is super packed. My husband saw a lot of disgruntled people and I heard some complaints myself. Some even ignored the coat check since we saw people leave their coats & bags in the outside hallway, where we stayed and talked while figuring out whether to stay or go. As I try to let my husband make these choices since he's got medical issues with his legs and standing on his feet (he, unlike some people, doesn't like making a big fuss & doesn't exhort people to feel sorry for him or give him special treatment because of it), he says it's up to me. Since I don't like seeing him miserable, what choice do you think I make?

We end up leaving but hang out in this lounge near the coat check section in order to decide where we're going for dinner since we haven't eaten and we're not about to spend a million dollars at the club's restaurant. After some wandering about, the night was saved when we happened upon this Mexican restaurant away from tourist row.

Here's my basic stance on going someplace & if my husband will go with me:

1. The event MUST be a price I/we consider reasonable. Clubs not having a special event had better not be over $5 per person (and I really hate paying to go in the first place as I was the recipient of many free ladies nights back in my college days in the early 00s--I was even told by a guy I knew from karaoke that w/my looks I should NEVER have to pay cover anywhere & I'm inclined to agree; I look EXACTLY the same as I did then, by the way). Unless it's a special event or one of my friends is involved, chances are I will not go if it costs money.

If it's a special event, don't even talk to me about it unless your tickets are about $25 a person or less. You're also more likely to entice me to go if you're friends with me, I've heard great things about your talent or my friends are going. $80, $50 per person?!?!?! Not happening & most likely wouldn't even if I had the $ for it. I should be seeing full nudity or getting my house cleaned for that kind of money.

2. If you want me to dress up, it has to be someplace where everyone else is dressed in a similar way. Since my husband HATES dressing up & most dress up events violate #1, I rarely get to do it unless I want to go to a club alone through a promoter's list. I also consider the weather outside & how my feet are going to feel in shoes when I'm having to walk around my neighborhood & trek on the subway to get to an event (the ones I go to are typically in Manhattan). I also HATE having to lug comfortable shoes around so my feet aren't blisters before I get someplace so I'm wondering how those travel shoe things are working for folks; I'm considering getting some for this very reason.

3. If there's a long line, fuck you!!! My husband has ZERO patience for long lines that never move. I also have limited patience with long lines. Status & exclusivity? Screw that!! Nothing is worth my waiting in line for hours (even free Chick-Fil-A for a year). We have a similar attitude on restaurants. If it's a long wait & you don't take reservations, we'll go elsewhere.

I found this article quite accurate to how we sum it up. Plus, my cooking is much better & I can make my food the way I want it, not how the restaurant thinks I want it. If we did a reservation & we're still waiting for a table 30 minutes later?? You can also go fuck yourself & have guaranteed some negative Yelp reviews against you.

4. My husband is extremely picky about music. If he hates the music, he will leave. I'm less picky about that but if you started blasting country music, I'd be out of there myself.

5. Don't hassle me to buy something the second I walk in the room if I'm present for an event!!! I hate that & it's a surefire way to get me to walk out. There's being a polite server & then there's being an ass. We've walked out when the person was being an ass (if the response to "We're looking" is the server hanging around and hovering over you while you look at the menu when you came to go to karaoke, the server is being an ass).

6. Have some seating that doesn't require a person to buy alcohol to use it. Some people DO have health conditions and would rather not announce them to the world. Plus, if there's no space you don't want to be blocking people from walking like you were a tourist standing in the middle of a NYC sidewalk.

So I'm not sure if it's that I'm too cheap or too poor to do things. I can't really afford to go to the theater or Broadway shows but even if I could, there is very little my husband would go to see. With things I go to in Manhattan usually turning out to stink for one or more of these reasons, I wondered last night about what we can possibly do for events to get out of the house.

We did decide we did not want to live in the suburbs. We're huge on not becoming that married couple that never goes anywhere or does anything; we saw that enough with our own parents. Plus, we don't have kids tying us down.

It seems my next step will be looking at things in Brooklyn or Queens. That means some additions to the requirements:

1. It must be accessible by public transit. We're not going to wait 2 hours for a bus to get someplace. If we wanted that, we could just live in the suburbs without a car and go to the local mall.

2. It must be in a safe neighborhood. This is just basic common sense.

I hardly think any of this is unreasonable considering we've managed to find things to go to and have fun at without this kind of bullshit. We'd just like to expand it some to things we both can do & so we have things to point to when people we know visit, especially folk who live in the suburbs. I don't like encouraging suburbanites by letting them sit in my home & not going to NYC when we're so close to it.

Plus, I like to make sure people are having fun without feeling like they have to make a million dollars a year in order to do so.

As we were discussing and thinking about things yesterday, I had a realization with respect to my business & all. I swore that I was not going to be a poor grown up. It occurred to me that as long as I'm in this current career limbo, I'm simply in a state of transition. It's not like "Your status is set in stone & this is where you will be for the rest of your life." Careers do have limits on income & you know that you're not going to advance anywhere after a while. You're just where you are & that's it. I realized that having a transition period means there's some hope I won't die in the same place I'm at already. Bear in mind, though that I'm not the the type to let life happen to me. Psycho Boy was & it wasn't a pretty picture; you see a lot of resignation with people who let life happen to them instead of making things happen that improve their own lives.

Later on, I read this article posted by a Twitter friend that popped up on my feed & it occurred to me that once again, I have a greater purpose to consider than just my own bullshit. It's not just me or my company (which totally defies this study in the leadership make-up & how we are treated); it's being an example. It's proving that it can be done & you aren't living in some caste system where the situation you're at now is the one you'll die in.

There's plenty of sexism in the legal field as well. I read an article recently that I think a different Twitter follower posted that said private law firms practice sexism against women but also engage in heavy lip service to the contrary. Just one more reason I'm not likely to be working in one.

After reading, it occurs to me that maybe it doesn't matter if I make any money from doing this or not, at least with respect to the issue of if I accomplished anything in life. If there's anything I like doing, it's giving someone else ammo in the fight against their own detractors. It never really occurs to me so much that I'm abnormal or doing something different/unusual. I only see it as pursuing what I wanted to do.

Consider that my mother was the one in charge when I was growing up; she HAD to be considering my father was too busy losing jobs & generally being an alcoholic. This is far beyond the dumb father stereotype you see in mainstream media; you're talking about someone who couldn't even hold down a job & lost a driver's license. Someone who's not fitting society's definition of functional.

On that note, I sure hope the answer to female empowerment & gender equality in these fields isn't living in a household where the mother has to be in charge because the father's too messed up for it.

More Caving to Public Pressure

I saw this story not long ago about how animal rights activists & PETA are targeting this figure skater.

Unfortunately, this guy decided to let these protesters dictate things to him. If it were me, I'd be saying "Fuck you." There's a right to free speech for ALL, not just for the opinions we like.

As for my stance on animal rights & the environment as a whole, I really don't fit a set category. I'm not a vegetarian hippie but I'm also not a supporter of unnecessary harm to animals. Guess you could say I'm more of a pragmatist: you're not going to stop the entire world from eating meat, using cosmetics, buying fur coats or not recycling.

If these things cost more money or involve more hassle than doing something harmful to the environment, of course people will do the more harmful activity.

I also think animal experimentation is here to stay unless/until you can use stem cells or human beings for those experiments. Part of this comes from the fact that I took science courses in school & originally planned to be a pharmacist so I'd know how to make drugs. I have a respect for science & common sense as opposed to regressing to living in the woods and not having modern conveniences.

So if PETA and environmental groups really wanted to advance their causes, they would not run around preaching to people. Instead, they'd try to make it easier, cheaper and more convenient for people to not harm animals. They'd push hard for viable public transportation everywhere, more incentives to recycle and stop expecting people to spend more money or waste more time doing something more difficult. PETA has just alienated themselves among the general population & become as hated as religious groups trying to get abortion outlawed. Same busybody attitude & no willingness to step up to the plate to solve the bigger problems that CAUSE people to eat meat or harm animals in the first place.

That sort of thing pisses me off when people go on & on about improving one's diet or buying organic food. Make it cheaper if you want people to do it & stop defending the high prices; maybe if that changed, more people would buy better foods.

The only people who don't see this are obviously spoiled trust fund babies who've never worked a real job in their lives and have no clue how the other half lives.