Some Food for Thought & Yes, Attorneys CAN Be Pervs

This morning, I went to the dermatologist. Now I don't like reporting on my life exploits b/c usually they're not all that interesting. Plus, I really don't like stalking or stalkers whether they're mine or someone else's. Had some bad experiences with that & I'm not even famous.

Anyhow, the dermatologist asked me if I had experienced any recent stress. I talked a bit about my career experiences & she said that you can see the effects of stress on your skin as well as other places.

So in light of that, I have to mention a few articles I have bookmarked & prove that attorneys are indeed NOT exempt from being perverts. More on that shortly, though.

First off, this article on career lessons from the recession. They missed one important lesson: don't count on anyone else to do anything for you! Maybe that's also a good life lesson but it's been my experience that you shouldn't expect that you'll still have a job at someone else's company tomorrow or that a networking contact will help you. Be the steward of your own life & if you don't count on others, you'll appreciate them even more when they go out of their way for you. I never do things for others for any reason other than sheer kindness or to help, but I do know industry protocol in my field dictates that you put yourself at serious risk if you don't reciprocate, especially if it's someone who could really screw you now or later.

Second, there's no way in Hell I'd go back 10 years on a resume like this article advises. For one thing, I was in college 10 years ago. I had about 13 jobs when I was applying to the CT bar to become an attorney. I had to contact all my past employers so they could tell the bar examining committee about me. NY, mercifully, only asked for past legal employers (which was about 3).

If I included all my jobs from the past 10 years, you wouldn't have a resume. You would have a tome! At least I've never been fired from a job; I've just lost them due to lack of work, scam artistry & intolerable working conditions not caused by me. My rule of thumb is to only list legitimate jobs I've had since becoming an attorney & mentioning things I did before only if it was relevant to a specific job I'd applied for. A museum might care that I worked at the campus museum for 3 years on work study but no one in the legal field or entertainment world would base a hiring decision on that fact. For the record, that is an actual job I had in the past 10 years. No employer I know of has asked to see more than my past 3-4 jobs, certainly not more than 5 years.

Want the past 10 years from me? Prepare for a tome. You don't want to hear about my retail work considering I'm an attorney & I think it's highly irrelevant since my earlier job skills are largely integrated into things I've done more currently. I'm never returning to retail so how does it help you to hear that I did it if you're considering me for a job outside that industry?

Not to beat a dead horse here but I also saw this article & have some thoughts. If you've been reading this blog, you already know my views on the use of social media & how I think employers ought to be looking at it. That lawsuit I mentioned is likely a foreshadowing of what's to come when someone eventually sues on such matters.

Anyhow, I can sum up most people's career advice on such matters in one sentence: Have a bland, vanilla profile & never be controversial.

Thank God I get to speak my mind. How do the people working for Nazis & Stalinists handle it? Someone does something shitty to me, you're damn straight I'll say something. I have a public duty to warn people about that kind of thing, especially as an attorney. Also you know these same people will try buddying up to me later on & I'll need a record to make absolutely certain I know why they're on my blacklist.

Now, to explain attorneys being pervs. Saw this Craig's List ad today:

Hostesses (topless/nude) for small sports party (Upper West Side)
Date: 2011-04-21, 12:24PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-hwrvc-2338632406@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hi we are a group of friends having a small party (10 -12 guys) next week that is sports related. We are looking for 2 hostesses to help serve drinks and food and generally add to the fun while we are glued to the tv. And since this is craigslist, we are hoping that the hostesses would be topless or nude. We are a bunch of otherwise boring lawyers so this isnt a gropefest. We are well-intentioned , respectful guys who just want to have a little fun. We have done this a few times in the past and its been a blast. This should be about 4 hours and we will guarantee $200 each for that period amd $50/hr each thereafter. And in the past the fellas have also tipped the women as well. This is a good opportunity to make some easy money and have food and drinks as well in a fun environment. If interested, please reply with a bit about yourself and a contact number and we'll call and arrange to meet so you beforehand so you can see this is a good situation.


* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $50/hr (4 hours guaranteed) plus tip

PostingID: 2338632406

I had to respond to this convoluted logic that attorneys are never capable of being filthy perverts. If you believe this convoluted logic, you don't actually know many attorneys or you're full of crap. Why do I say this?

For one thing, I've gotten hit on by attorneys at networking events. One actually invited me out for a drink after I was attending this job fair I didn't really need to attend since I'd already secured a legal client by the time it happened. I was just there for freebies like food, mints, etc. No attorney who's hit on me ever truly offended me since I don't offend easily but if one did, boy would he ever know it!

Let's also consider the experiences of female law firm associates and others who have been the victims of workplace sexual harassment & propositioning. You'd think they worked in the entertainment industry & were subject to the casting couch with some of the tales I've read. It's a huge reason I'd never bother working in some big law firm; if I wanted that kind of harassment, I could just become a stripper & make more money + have some work/life balance to boot.

Attorney doesn't always = upstanding person. There are some who take their ethical obligations seriously (I hope it's a large number) but there are those who don't. Some are despicable enough to where you'd be safer around a crazy homeless person who mutters. Read some stories about disbarred attorneys & law firm working environments. Even document review isn't immune from these scumbags so it's not just the attorneys pulling in $500K+ a year.

I also reminded the author of this ad that actress doesn't = slut. I think many actresses I know would be pissed if you called them that or thought they'd do something like this just b/c they are actresses.

Hope that's enough education to make you realize that being an attorney doesn't make you an upstanding, moral citizen who'd never harass, grope or bother a topless chick. If you were a scumbag before, being an attorney won't magically change you into an upstanding citizen.

Maybe this guy should just go to a strip club if he wants topless waitresses and nude women or hire a stripper that makes house calls. Just my take on it.

General Musings Part 14

I've been meaning to write this entry but in between responding to potential job ads (since you can never put all your eggs in one basket + I figure I've got 2 weeks before I hear something definite about a job I'd really like to do but haven't gotten follow up on since late last month), going to a networking event Friday night, talking to that friend in trouble & dealing with the ring debacle, it's been too crazy to get it done.

Now that I've gotten a moment, some review & rants.

I went to a networking event on Friday, unsure of how things would go. I just knew it was a good idea to get my mind off my friend & sitting at home by myself on a Friday night was a waste. Yeah, that's another thing: getting our car back after the expensive repair work. At least it started today without resistance.

That event turned out to be really fun since

A) fashion people like how I look (I even got photographed)

B) I got to meet some very interesting people (perhaps more interesting than me) who'd have no incentive to become jealous of my success or pester me for favors &

C) the people I spoke to did not make me feel uncomfortable.

It was wonderful talking to people who took me seriously as a professional, had interesting things to say & were not all men. I'd like more female colleagues to talk to since it seems like only men end up speaking to me. The men I did speak to didn't even flirt with me. Yes!!

You don't realize how rare that kind of thing is unless you are considered attractive by society & for whatever reason, will get hit on just for looking like yourself. No effort on your part needed (not even smiling), just being present in a room.

It's not like I'd gone to many of these events since I usually need advance notice & feel bad when my husband won't go. Though honestly, my husband is not big on social events where he doesn't know people. He's not the "hang out in a lounge" type; he told me he likes having something to do. He also doesn't have to network while I have to in my business. Plus if I want to network, he gets all impatient & wants to leave ASAP. I'm not the type who immediately approaches strangers; I need time to feel comfortable & gather my bearings. If I have an "in," no problem but if I don't give me half an hour & I'm fine.

Even if I weren't a business owner or doing PR work, you still need to know many different people as a writer or actor aside from the "opportunity around the corner" so you'll create better work & have more experiences to weave into that work. You can't do that sitting at home all the time.

So, I felt much more comfortable at this event & I should probably see about going to future ones. I think networking events are to him what going to most comic book stores or cons are to me: I'm not interested but you can take friends, have a good time & don't worry about me.

Talked to my friend; she called to wish me a happy belated birthday. Seems she understands my concerns + that of other friends & plans to move on. However, we all know how hard it is when feelings are involved & apparently she's said this before but been pulled back. I'm hoping some friends/family who live closer will keep their eye on things & warn about the bad stuff without being judgmental about it.

Now for rants:

I called this one!!! Told you people in this country would whine about "Skins" & that American mores are too sensitive to handle a show like that. I predict that either MTV will make it more bland (through censorship or otherwise) or turn it into elaborate theater with more shock than substance.

This is food for thought for the old timers & Internet haters.

And if Chipotle continues to screen out illegals, we should all eat there. Protest this?!?!?! Ha! We should hold them up as patriots who support this country & the rights of AMERICAN citizens to have jobs instead of undercutting everyone with illegals.

If you are dumb enough to claim that illegals have more rights to a job than my unemployed family members who are citizens, then you should renounce your American citizenship & get the hell out RIGHT NOW!!! It is immoral when my sister has to fight to get WIC coverage while some illegal Hispanic woman in her area who just popped out an anchor baby practically has it handed to her on a silver platter. Not to mention plenty of other things permanent residents & people trying to get citizenship get screwed on because of illegals with zero loyalty to this country acting like parasites.

What would be better is the ability to trade the citizens who are deadbeats for the illegals who "just want to feed their families & work hard." More details on my views on the matter & just how I've lived it can be found in an earlier post.

In sum, I'm all for jailing some CEOs in "pound me in the ass" prison as opposed to "white collar resort" prison to reform illegal immigration (thank you, Office Space).

Some of this I disagree with on basic principle. My husband & I do not + will not ask for or take each other's passwords. We have used each other's accounts on things before like if I was doing an eBay auction for my husband when he wouldn't have access to a computer but I'd never ask for his e-mail or Facebook passwords. That is controlling & a sign of distrust.

My husband also had an ex who did that & read his e-mail. We also don't like the other person reading over our shoulder as we type messages to our friends or chat with them.

I also don't get this "emotional affair" shit. I don't think a spouse should be expected to have every single interest you have or be the best person to solve all your problems. My husband isn't my jailer or chained at my hip. We are separate people who just happen to compliment one another. I think that as long as you don't mind your spouse meeting or talking to your opposite sex friends, then you don't have any issues. Maybe they'd become friends & if you ended up in a real crisis, they might work as added support. My husband knows he's more than welcome to talk to mine just as I'm welcome to talk to his. If anything, I expect my opposite sex friends to take my husband's side & his to take my side if either of us thought to cheat on the other one. They could understand the opposite sex perspective & empathize with the spouse.

Guess we also see my views on relationships & marriage coming into play there, which are not your typical "2 becoming 1" nonsense or life as seen on TV, Hollywood movies & so forth.

I read this today & think one little thing was missing. That's if you work in a bureaucracy, you have to be an annoying suck up or part of a protected class. You also have to be a moron because no one rewards intelligence.

I admire any CEO that actually sticks to this but if you have a larger company, you're going to have a hard time convincing me that you value these things over butt kissing and maintaining a hopelessly outdated, ineffective or plain awful status quo.

Speaking of denial when it comes to illegal conduct, this article comes to mind. I like the commenter who said you should address nasty interviewing behavior right away & walk out if needed. That's someone after my own heart. I know at this point, I'd absolutely do that & probably would have in the time since I became a lawyer. I'll keep my dignity & my sanity over a hellish job, thanks.

Now to pet my feline who jumped into my lap on his own accord & isn't even a lap cat.