Thursday, March 20, 2014

Dating Shorter Guys: My Take

Read this Cracked article & realized I should speak on this. Don't think I've talked about it & I've got some stories.

Now I never dated guys shorter than me. I'm 5'6 so I wouldn't be dating someone whose eye line comes right to my chest. That would be really creepy considering I'm not the average model's height or anything super tall (though it would make modeling so much easier if I were). Those guys should be dating women like my sister, who's about 5'1/5'2. She's short, especially compared to me. I got the looks & she'd even tell you that herself. She got other stuff like being more sociable, a maternal instinct & a much more caring nature.

The guys I'm speaking of were my height or damn close. The soon to be ex is 5'7 & Vampire Boy was 5'6.

I'm here to tell you there are some serious advantages sexually to dating a guy the same height as you. For one thing, you will never strain your neck to kiss that guy. Corona Boy was TALL & I remember killing my neck trying to kiss him. Not fun.

You can also do any sexual position you want with a guy the same height as you. My sister's first husband was over 6 feet tall. There were things they couldn't do physically b/c of the height difference (or at least if they did, I have no clue how that happened; I've never asked her about it & she didn't share that though keep in mind women share a LOT about sex with you men--if you do something odd or have some unusual attribute, we're probably going to tell our friends/sisters/other females we develop rapport with). I never had that issue when I was having sex with guys I dated who were my height. I even had sex with Vampire Boy in the front passenger seat of his car without having any problems at all; he never complained & maybe it's not true for everyone but if I'm not comfortable (physically or mentally), it's a HUGE distraction. If you're physically comfy, chances are the guy who's your height will be as well.

Let's just say there's a closeness you can have with a guy whose height is the same as yours that you can't get if there's too much of a difference. If you experienced it yourself, you know what I mean.

I guess I could mention a third benefit that I never really planned for: you can push around a guy who's the same height as you more easily. It's not like he's got as much of a size advantage against you. My sister even claimed I only dated guys the same height as me so I could push them around. I'm sure friends of mine would contend that I could push around any guy I wanted to no matter what physical size difference he had over me.

To be honest, the height thing was a total coincidence. I mostly had guys choose me instead of me choosing them. I've not had to chase or pursue anyone so it's not in my nature to do it. That chasing men thing skipped me & went to my sister instead; I just find it undignified + don't care enough about any particular guy to "chase" him. I figure if he doesn't see my awesomeness or want me as I am, then fuck him. There's plenty of other guys out there & it's not like I've had a shortage of suitors. Even when I was married, I was getting propositions though didn't pursue them since I felt it would be wrong to do so.

Oh, and height is not an absolute criterion for size. A guy told me & some other girls in college that it was a factor but in my experience, that wasn't a perfect formula considering Corona Boy was horribly small (his having no skill made things even worse). Maybe you won't get porn actor with some shorter guy but that doesn't mean you're getting freakishly small either. I'll say that I wasn't unhappy & leave it at that (though my big thing is technique; if a guy doesn't have any technique or that technique just sucks, that's unacceptable for me).

Law school sometimes felt like the land of men with Napoleon complexes. I'm sure women extensively dating attorneys would have far more to say about that & more of a base there than me but I have definitely seen some of that in my experiences. I actually avoided dating attorneys or law students since I didn't want to deal with some guy who wouldn't get my circumstances or where I came from (the specter of the Napoleon complex also factored in); explained this recently to my law school friend who'd have been thrilled if I had submitted to his advances instead of staying loyal to the jerky soon to be ex. Is it sad that part of me wishes I'd seized that day? Maybe if I'd known this was coming, I might have.

But then again, I never stayed friends with guys I did such things with & they all ended up hurting me in the end. I was certain this guy would have proven me right & it would have harmed my career. I wouldn't even have the friendship & I actually value that since few people have made me feel like I mattered and that I wasn't an intrusion on them.

So I think there's a lot to be said for the height advantages of dating someone who matches yours & no, getting to push the guy around isn't my reason for saying that. Only an idiot wouldn't be at least a little afraid of me or think that I'm capable of killing him in his sleep if he really angered me enough & I had nothing going for me in my life, height be damned.

Would I pick a guy of my height today? Not sure considering the 2 guys who hurt me most were right near my height. It might not be a factor but I think it's time to look at guys who don't fit my classic tropes & the height thing is one of those common patterns. Being named Eric, Matt or Joseph is also not going to work since I had bad experiences with those guys & it became another joke with my family with respect to my dating life. I think having my estranged husband's name wouldn't work either though my sister's former FIL had an ex wife and a future second wife with the same name. We joked that he did that so he wouldn't say the wrong name in bed.

At the end of the day, you really have to go with character and so forth but if you haven't dated a guy your height it's something you have to do at least once if you can feel some sparks (even if it's just sexual).

I've got another post in me to write but you're only getting this one for now. Don't worry, though; it's definitely coming though will be a little gross to some people.

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