Real life has been getting in the way lately. For one thing, my husband got the week off work so he could hang out with me on my recent birthday. Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday to me & all that good stuff.
I also have a TON (and I'm not kidding about this) of birthday gift certificates and promotions to use up before the end of this month that I'm still trying to go through. We'll see how that plays out.
One thing that absolutely has killed me is that you can't be an actual boss if your employees are unionized. Nope, you are apparently given zero right to change anything & when the lazy leeches who have done nothing for God only knows how long start a petition against you for daring to make them earn their paychecks, the supervisor is apparently punished.
This scenario is playing out for a unionized employee I know of right now.
The types of changes we are talking about are having a written schedule, making people accountable for things and incorporating things like e-mail into the workplace. God fucking forbid! I mean, how many people use e-mail on a daily basis at work?
We were using e-mail at my law firm job in 2003! I was using e-mail in my college dorm room before 2000.
E-mail is an inevitable part of life. Now deal with it, damn it!!
If you aren't tech savvy, hire an assistant who is. Pay a fair market rate.
If you don't & then bitch and moan about using technology that well over 75% of the national population is using (as well as significant segments of the global population), then be prepared to be fired, labeled an old foggy who is out of touch with modern times and denigrated by all the young people.
Also, prepare to have all the young people hate your guts for sucking away wages they could be earning & for having to constantly teach you "how to MySpace" since you refuse to listen and write it down so they don't have to do it a trillion times, over & over again. You're probably also going to make them hate you for doing YOUR work & not getting paid for it. I wouldn't do it & I sure would have my hand out for extra money.
If you somehow miss the chopping block today, then prepare to be the first one laid off when hard times hit.
I also find it incredibly sad that these employees have to be at least middle aged & think they get paid to sit on their asses and hang out like the workplace is their house and their bosses are Mommy and Daddy there just to placate and amuse them. Apparently, I had more work ethic when I was 15 years old and fighting to get my first job at JcPenney as well as working my ass off at that job to prove I was no irresponsible teenager than these old fart union slugs who are doing nothing but wasting people's money.
I wonder what the people paying these people's salaries would think of this. I know if it were me, I'd be pissed off. I would refuse to pay a dime to the employer until the lazy union slugs were out the door & kicked square in the ass for their laziness.
If you tried this shit in my business, you would have your ass kicked out the door in a heartbeat. We wouldn't even have to think about it. I have fired people before & when someone's being a fucking lazy asshole, I have no qualms about telling that prick about the hundreds, thousands or millions of people in the location who would do twice the work for half the wages that lazy asshole is earning & for doing what, exactly? Sitting on one's ass? Goofing off? Watching TV?
Gee, I had to EARN my law license. I had to take the bar exam, go through a character & fitness review, continue to do CLE training & pay a decent amount of money for licensing fees. If I don't do my job or I make some colossal mistake that would qualify as a violation of Lawyer 101, I have a grievance filed against me & could get called before the ethics committee. I don't even get to violate the legal ethics rules in my off time; forget about my moonlighting as a dominatrix. Try that & you'll get fired or disciplined. A colleague told me & some other lawyers about that happening to a female co-worker of his who was no longer working there. Oh, and this was a government job!
Yes, I believe in earning your paycheck vs. sucking money away for doing zip or being an incompetent, lazy buffoon!!! I can't blame private employers if they are hesitant to consider my husband for jobs in the mistaken belief that he's a union slug b/c of all his experience in a union job. If you're reading this now, let me tell you he's not.
In fact, he fucking hates the union at his job since most of the staff he has to deal with would have been kicked out long ago if there were no such thing as a union to protect their lazy, incompetent behinds. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you may already know what I'm referring to. I'm speaking of people who do not perform basic customer service functions, flat out don't do their jobs, harass customers, use racial slurs, etc. Not to mention the layoff lists.
Want to fix things? Here's my proposal:
1. Make performance count far more than seniority. If you can't pass a basic performance review but have been working there for eons & eons, you should not get to be retained over the hardest & best worker there who has been there less time than you. I know your boss agrees with me.
2. Make it far easier to fire someone for insubordination, sexual harassment and anything that would make a reasonable person angry: Why should a sexual predator, a racist, a thief, a disrespectful prick who thinks he's above the rules or any other type of person you'd not want serving in the military get to keep getting paid to do this shit?
3. Make it illegal for any union to restrict the paying work for its members: If you aren't offering paying union work, you don't get to tell a member of your union not to take a non-union job that will pay their rent, food, gas & other bills.
If you think you can, I suggest you offer that person a place to stay, food to eat, etc. Otherwise, shut your trap until you are paying for that person's survival. Get bent, suck an egg, whatever phrase best suits you & your condition. The people most likely setting up those rules are union leaders making far too damn much in salary.
4. Finally, if your union has been found guilty of embezzlement or some other form of corruption then the individuals involved are forbidden from setting up another union ever again in this country. If you do, it won't be recognized. Bring some standards back to leadership!
Plus, trusting people who stole before is a lesson in stupidity barring some serious oversight from an outside source & mandatory disclosure of public records along with having to justify your existence on a yearly basis. We have the Internet; it's time to use it to vet the garbage.
Without this, you can pretty much call me anti-union & that's not solely because I own a business. I'm anti-union based on my husband's experience & how pathetic his faux union is. Overpaid, fat, bloated ticks is how I see that leadership but it's like which group of overpaid, fat, bloated ticks is worse: the people running the union or the people running the library? Or I should say "the people running the library into the ground."
I can understand the groups that are against unions. However, that's not to say there should be zero standards at all. There are plenty of dumbasses running businesses just based on Craig's List ads alone. I saw one recently that must be shared to be believed & was from an attorney of all people.
No laws means everyone posts up ads for illegal internships for things like legal services, performing brain surgery and who knows what else. Maybe someone would even post an ad asking for an intern escort or exotic dancer. I would hope people working in those fields would say "Hell no!" and have that person killed. I think that would be the one time people rooted for the pimps.
Next thing you know, there'll be ads for "Intern Strippers!" I saw one for "Intern Administrative Assistant" recently & had to respond.
For those asking "What about the union members' families?," guess what? Maybe that union member should have thought about that before screwing up at work!
It's not the employer's job to worry about feeding the employee's kids or catering to an employee's refusal to do the job (s)he was hired to do. As the saying goes, "You breed 'em, you feed 'em." Plus, a little time having to earn your way in life might teach you some appreciation for having a job & rid you of this entitlement complex, oh lazy asshole. I agree with the Protestant work ethic attitude of "If you don't work, you don't eat."
Call me heartless all you want. Hard workers & ambitious types don't want to carry your lazy ass. We'd rather you just froze in the cold & give our aid to people who aren't able to do the things you could but just refuse to. You want loyalty & respect? You have to earn it, bucko! If you have & the employer is being a dick, then the employer should be punished & deserves to have bad employees.
If you aren't suffering from a legitimate health condition (physically or mentally), you are precisely who I'm talking to. If you're unhappy in a job, you have zero right to take it out on customers & the general public. You need to just get the heck out & let someone else who'd actually give a damn have a shot.
For those hoping to solve this problem by having an employee owned business, let me tell you something: it's not easy to be a business owner. If you think it is, you're an idiot & had better be schooling yourself on how to do it. Otherwise, shut up & get out of the way of people who know what they're doing. Inevitably, people like me will be cleaning up your messes.
Oh, and if you dare to sue on some ground like discrimination when you were fucking up expect your work history to come into evidence.
Being a member of any minority group is not a Get Out of Work Free card!!! You also do a disservice to everyone else in your group & make it that much harder for them to get respect from the work force as well as society as a whole.
Oh, and I'm sure your ancestors would be pissed at you undermining their struggles & experience with your bullshit. They'd probably be thrilled to get the job you're pissing away with your laziness.
I know I don't need married women making it harder on me by leaving in 3 seconds to go have babies. I know working mothers don't need other mothers neglecting their jobs for their kids. That stuff just makes it even harder for married women & parents to get any respect in the workplace or even get considered for jobs. If I wanted to be sabotaged, I could find that on my own without lazy assholes of my gender causing trouble!
Same goes for any other group. I'm sure you hard working members of various racial & ethnic groups also appreciate the jerks making it harder on you to get ahead, fueling further entrenchment of negative stereotypes against you.
See, these lazy union members should thank their lucky stars not to have met me since I would call them out. I wonder how some of these lazy idiots who have zero work ethic would react if I told them they have less work ethic than I did at the age of 15.
I would also be making sure the people paying their salaries knew all about this & were outraged. In fact, I'm outraged that some of these people who work with my husband are still employed since that would never, ever fly in my company. I would also tell them that if they worked for me & did XYZ crap they did, I would toss them out in a heartbeat with no regard for their starving family. Perhaps I could go all Joe Pesci on them but maybe I'm scary enough without that.
"Don't fuck with me" is the lesson. A good business owner has to command that as well.
If you don't, you are very likely going to end up on television as a business owner who is royally screwing up (in the vein of Bar Rescue, Restaurant: Impossible, et al.). I can respect Donald Trump for not taking shit in his business along with his willingness to be roasted for Comedy Central. You think he'd put up with the crap union jobs seem to allow in employees?
I don't & think it's time for serious changes. I don't care what a bunch of old, lazy dinosaurs think about not getting to be paid to slack off or scratch their private parts on the clock. Get off your ass & do your damn job or get the hell out of the way so the better people who actually value a job & take some personal pride in doing a good one can take over! Protect your neck (as the Wu Tang Clan would say) & all that, business owners!
Monday, January 21, 2013
How to Fix Unions...Did I Mention How Much I Hate Laziness?
Posted by Film Co. Lawyer at 9:03 PM
Labels: bad employees, Bar Rescue, Comedy Central, Donald Trump, faux union, feeding negative stereotypes, laziness, Restaurant: Impossible, technology, unions, work ethic, Wu Tang Clan
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