Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Who's the Bully Here and Other Life Stuff

First off, check out this petition & go sign it (especially if you really hate the MPAA). Those who've read this blog know that I don't take kindly to bullying. I was once bullied myself. Lucky for the perpetrators, they didn't make physical contact with me or cause me these kinds of injuries since I'd have snapped & killed them. If I didn't have a vision of a future away from my hometown and the little shits who lived in it, I'd have been a one woman killing machine long before Columbine ever happened.

I truly think the MPAA did this because the ones who voted against it are bullies themselves. How many filmmakers have they pissed off with their arbitrary ratings process, their secrecy & rules against using their prior decisions to argue for why THIS film in front of them should get a particular rating? It pisses me off as a lawyer who saw "This Film is Not Yet Rated" as well as a person working in the entertainment industry. This doesn't even match with the MPAA's objective of protecting the little children from harm. Morons. Kids aren't little angels! They use profanity. They watch online porn, they do drugs, they have sex.

This sounds like a film teens should be seeing & one that should be mandatory viewing for middle school kids among others. If you disagree, you need to join us in 2012 since the world's changed since your 1950's utopia & by the way, I'd bet a million dollars that these same people are encouraging their kids to bully others or being ineffectual teachers and administrators. I've got no sympathy for these do nothing saps if they're sitting around doing zip about bullies and end up being taken out by some bullied kid's weapon. That's called karma & getting what you deserve. Now, note that I'm speaking of teachers & administrators who have been told about bullying situations and do NOTHING to help the bullied kid (not even separating the problem kid & gang from the bullied). Actual notice vs. suspicion.

Maybe we should stick them with bullies & see how THEY like it. I'm sure these are the same people who think kids who defend themselves should be punished for hitting back instead of being a chump and letting some asshole injure them so badly they need a trip to the hospital. I tell you, if anyone had struck me we'd have been going for death. I was never the sort to screw around; I'd do much worse than simply pull your hair. I'd want to rip your beating heart out of your chest & lift it up for the world to see as an example of why you'd better not fuck with me unless you have a death wish.

I was watching an episode of "Dateline" where they had these hidden cameras & set up bullying situations to see what the kids involved in the program would do (their parents were watching this scene as it unfolded). There was one scenario where these girls were having to pick out clothes & making fun of one girl. Eviscerating is probably the right word for it.

This one girl gets right in the Queen Bee's face, calls her out & basically goes all Terminator on her. My husband was like "That's YOU!" This girl goes so far as to say "So we should all bow down to you?!" then gets on her knees & does this exaggerated bow yelling about her greatness in this sarcastic way. I'd have been proud to be related to her since it seems like something I'd do if you made me mad enough. When they talked to her, she said she herself had been bullied & later learned to stand up for herself, that she was worth something, etc. And she wasn't even a redhead.

I also made it a point to tell my filmmaker contacts about this since if they're censoring the Weinstein Company today, the MPAA could be censoring you or me tomorrow. I'd like to see the MPAA dismantled since I think it's outdated in the age of You Tube, online porn & smartphones for kids.

Parents need to act like parents instead of friends (and you wonder why I think the recent attacks on women's rights are made by chauvinistic men who are asking to be raped by big, angry convicts). That would solve so many problems & we'd see less bullying if kids got the message at home that it's not cool or acceptable. I'd kick my underage relatives' butts myself if they were bullying anyone.

Another lesson about bullied people: they develop a lot of rage. Some people turn it inward while others turn it outward. Bad home lives & personal circumstances don't help matters either. You never know which one you're going to be dealing with.

Generally, things have been better for me. I just finished that improv class & signed up for the 102 level. I'm also starting a full time freelance temp job soon (lasting a few months). Same thing I was doing last year for a few months: I guess they liked my work. It's that perfect job that doesn't require me to take it home or break out in cold sweats at night over it. Those jobs aren't easy to come by if you're a lawyer; most people think you want those high stress situations but with me knowing what I want to do already, that sort of job is the last thing I want.

I also decided to sign up for an acting class I saw advertised through one of those deal websites after talking to someone at the school & getting my questions answered (for one thing, I was told I didn't have to want to be a full time actor & give up everything else I do to be there). When you're nice to me, answer my questions & understand my concerns, that's good business. Oh, and it seems I'm at the intermediate level & not a beginner b/c I have actually done stuff. Nor do I have to worry about anyone trying to teach the business side of acting, which I already know about thank you very much. Another school apparently does this & I was like "Uh, I'm a lawyer & have my own film company. Plus, I interned with an agent. I have a pretty good idea of that stuff." Only idiots cross lawyers, no matter what they look like or their years of experience. This acting class was also something else I wanted to do: a general class where I could sort of get a refresher, some refining & technically have real training outside of my high school drama class or actual participation in shows.

My improv classmates were also cool & I'd like to get some of their resumes for our files since I saw some talent + range. It was also a great atmosphere & I even heard one person comment on how the atmosphere was so much better than it was at one place where she was taking a class. The question, though is professionalism. I don't recommend people unless I know they can be professional & not cause problems.

I have to say I've definitely been happier with this new "don't stress over stuff" outlook on life. I even had to deal with what I've since nicknamed "the case that wouldn't die." Just so you know, if you get pissed at your former attorney you can't get your friend to call the person up & demand documents from your case. We can only give that stuff to the court, your attorney or you. Not my problem if you lost my termination letter. If you don't have your attorney or the judge contact me directly & I can't get anyone after I've told the court I'm not involved, that's it. I've done my part. If we can't even deal with people's parents or spouses, we certainly can't deal with friends (especially when they don't even have a writing from the client saying it's okay for the former lawyer to deal with that person). Attorney-client privilege, for God's sake!

That whole experience helped lessened my tolerance for BS & drained my altruism.

In other news, my husband saw an ad for his dream job. It's at an employer that he already spends a significant amount of money on in terms of their main product (and it's in my general industry). He's got over twice the minimum years of experience they asked for & all the stuff they asked about, including a downright scary encyclopedic knowledge of their industry. He prefers this particular large company for his product to the other big name company for it, which is apparently a plus since many people prefer the other big company. Networking by me helped us clear one hurdle: the name & contact info of the HR person collecting this stuff. I'm giving them 2 weeks; if we hear nothing, I will be following up (though it will be my first day of working, you bet I'll be doing this).

As the unofficial HR head myself & having sorted out intern applications, being an owner in an entertainment company & knowing that any moron could see that my husband should be working at this job if they talked to him for about 10 minutes (probably less), I will have to call the person a moron if they don't even offer him an interview (not just as a wife but as a business owner). I'll also be publicly shaming the place & holding a very long, prolific grudge against them if he's not at least interviewed (if not hired). They certainly won't be getting favors from me or my company & though my husband won't be boycotting them, I certainly will.

Trust me, if you knew all the details, knew my husband's background & what he's been doing in his free time for NO money for the benefit of that industry & helping further it, you'd feel the same way. You'd want to see that place suffer as well & would do you best not to help it if they were doing something to mess up your home life.

For those of you not in relationships with someone you care about & live with, their happiness is your happiness. Their joy is your joy & their tragedy is your tragedy. You have to live with that person; I don't want to live with a husband who's become a shattered, broken person because some asshole refused to give him the chance he deserved. And yes, that person/entity/group would be an asshole considering my networking contacts who helped us clear that hurdle clearly believe in my husband as well based on the facts given.

Now my husband isn't super happy at his current job but does have some prospects he didn't have at his old location. However, "dream job" does trump anything else in writing a letter. I probably got into this business because even a total idiot could see that I had a passion for it & should get a chance. I tried to make sure my husband's cover letter for this was that crystal clear in terms of highlighting passion, interest, experience & just the fact that this would actually be his dream job vs. some platitude he was making to someone. You can't call everything you apply for a "dream job" & the standards for them are different for everyone.

I have an intuitive sense that the HR people there do have some brain cells that work & will love his resume but I've had life let me down (as has he). This means I'm keeping my cynical shell up & am prepared to fight as hard as I need to to make sure my husband gets that fair shake. Otherwise, he may not have a wife to talk about that product with anymore since I'll just be angry over the whole thing & bring it up all the time. I don't support people who ruin my flow or interfere with my opportunities (messing with my husband is messing with me since you're affecting MY life & the entire fabric of my household in multiple ways). Remember, I chewed out that hiring person at the law firm in New Haven who didn't bother telling me anything & who I had to call to learn that they hired someone else with no word to anyone who'd gotten interviewed.

I suppose it creates a cycle. Life does something to disappoint me or let me down & I come out fighting. Some people get super taken aback by my initial reaction, which then means I explain my case & usually things work out. I've just seen & heard about some harsh BS in the workplace, especially in major companies. If they did fulfill my dumbass theory (essentially, it says that employers don't want to hire anyone competent or intelligent & just want to hire the dumbasses since they won't challenge anything, will happily eat all the shit you feed them & lie prostrate before you if you ask them to; this is my theory as to why I never got considered for jobs I was very qualified for & was devised long before I ever worked at the Atlanta law firm), I wouldn't be shocked. I vowed years ago that if I ever had a business, I'd never run it that way. I also think the dumbass theory makes no sense but it does apparently exist under a different name & is in fact a real thing.

The name of this company will only be revealed if they cross us or bother to recognize actual talent when it's staring them right in the face. Being a moron also doesn't encourage or inspire me to do you any favors.

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