Monday, December 12, 2011

Job Hunting: Must You be a Crackhead in Order to get Hire/Fire Authority in Corporate America?

I think it's a requirement, personally. It also seems all legal employers are required to be addicted to something before getting that type of authority.

Why do I say this? Oh, let me count the ways:

1. The job hunt seems to be the only time when basic courtesy is not only allowed to be ignored but downright discouraged. I've seen this sentiment expressed a hundred times on this one HR blog I read on occasion.

As a business owner having done interviews, I made damn sure to follow up with people seeking opportunities with us. I didn't pull dick moves & lie to people like the SOBs I've had to deal with (some of which you can read about in this blog).

After my latest experience in that whole "waiting for a job" (that's not even paying a basic salary, by the way) garbage, I've given up on looking for any sort of day job.

For one thing, there's no opportunity for someone with my usual background and anyone claiming that they seek someone different or unique is a liar. When I put my hat in the ring, it never pans out.

Second, I'm just not motivated to do it. If someone wants me to do something, they'll have to find me & make an offer. Barring that, I don't care anymore. I want to work in my own business badly enough to die before taking on some job I'd hate that would kill my spirit.

Oh, and that same social media you use to monitor employees? It works both ways, assholes!!! People will talk about your shitty behavior & future applicants will not want to work for you. Think for a second: would YOU want to work at a company that has a history of lying to applicants, paying nothing while expecting one person to work for 5 or breaking the law? Would YOU want to work someplace where sexual harassment was encouraged instead of punished? Many people don't want to work at these places.

Frankly, lying pisses me off & I don't care about maintaining bridges with liars. Maybe these jerks might should consider that someday THEY may need jobs & guess who their interviewer is...someone like me that they've lied to. You think I'm going to give such a person a job? You must be on crack.

2. Career advice articles continue to tout that job applicants should "suck it up" and not complain when a potential employer interviews them & then refuses to follow up. Consider that they actually suggest you continue an interview after being asked illegal questions.

Let me tell you, law firms are notorious for doing this shady crap if you believe sites like Ms. JD and other legal blogs where people talk about sexism toward women (not to mention other asinine remarks that people told me about getting in interviews). I know precisely what I'd do if I were asked an illegal question. I'd immediately say "I don't think we have anything else to discuss. Good day," and walk out the door/hang up the phone. Try & stop me and I'll freely explain your blatant disregard for the law + what it says to me about your business (i.e. that you're perfectly okay with sexual harassment, defrauding clients, making people work off the clock & God knows what else).

If I wanted to be demeaned, I would go work as a stripper or as a prostitute. Craig's List keeps allowing those ads for escort agencies so certainly I can find places to be demeaned without having to work for some hypocrite wearing a business suit.

Let's not forget that how an employer treats you when you're an applicant & not even working there is the best you're going to get. If they're treating you like crap at the stage when they're supposed to be impressing you (or "wooing" if you want to go BigLaw fancy), how will they treat you when you're a rank & file employee? This is a question I asked myself in dealing with schools & I think it's very relevant to potential employers.

And if you're treating a potential client that way, it's inexcusable to keep giving business to you since you're the worst business person ever.

3. This article that outright says promotions are based on favoritism.

So, if this is how promotions happen, then why the hell would I bother with working for anyone other than myself, my best friend or anyone who truly respects me???

In sum, it seems no company not owned by you, your friends or anyone with a semblance of competence wants anyone with a brain. They only want "yes" people & slaves/robots. Case in point and I'm shocked "absolute fealty to the company above everything & everyone else" isn't listed as a trait that's irresistible to employers.

Newsflash: you can't expect absolute, unconditional loyalty from someone who isn't a partner or a high ranking person in your business. Underpay them and/or make the workplace atmosphere suck & you're an absolute joke if you think anyone's going to have a speck of loyalty to you. I don't care about industry custom, this is a just a fact of life.

One final thought: if you're too much of a pussy to tell people the hard truth (you're fired, we're not going to give you a 2nd/3rd round interview, we gave someone else the job [probably the owner's kid or some other nepotistic relationship]), then you should not be in management. Being a pussy is a good way to get shot up when someone finally snaps & starts a killing spree. Bad karma begets bad karma. I personally don't want pussies in my ranks; perhaps they remind me of the 7th grade clique bitches I grew up around who'd be nice to your face & cut you down behind your back. I say tell me the damn truth & let ME handle it.

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