I'd like to know. Let's consider those recent essays on rape culture, including this article on school dress codes.
Does it feel like to anyone that being a woman, particularly an attractive one, seems to be an open invitation for ugly guys (usually in both looks & personality) to pester them? It frustrates the heck out of Single 2.0 me. How come?
First off, I have never been the type to approach a guy on my own. My feeling has been that if I did the approaching & get rejected, it's my fault b/c I inconvenienced the person with my presence. Apparently lots of not that good looking guys don't have that particular "ism" since they approach me like nobody's business, never thinking that they could be out of my league. Maybe my ex should take some lessons.
Second, I'm just not going to compete for some guy. Sorry but I have more value in myself as a human being and I just don't have the time, interest or inclination to do it. I feel the record speaks for itself: my personality, my looks, etc. To my view, if some guy isn't bothering to talk to me & I look as I do fuck him. There's other fish in the sea (as I've reminded myself on numerous occasions & feel gratified by when I get another phone number from a guy after putting in no real effort to get it). I ought to start collecting & saving those; it's getting to be a frequent thing.
Third, just because I have a good conversation with you & don't think you're a flaming imbecile does NOT mean I want you to fuck my brains out. Let me tell you right now good conversation is hard to find when you're the sort of person who doesn't fit into a typical mold. I have a model body with an attorney brain: this makes it harder for me to find peers & true friends I feel comfortable talking to about different things. I happen to value that.
I've also been told I'm fascinating & an interesting person. I shouldn't have to change that, nor will I. Not sure I'd know how to be boring if I tried.
Let's make it clear that my liking a conversation I have with you or having an intellectual connection does not = me wanting to sleep with you. Seems some guys totally don't get that; some of us want platonic friends, damn it. With all I've been going through, I'm not exactly turning down legitimate caring & friendship. If you really were a decent, stand up kind of guy you would NOT be shitting on that. You would be perfectly fine with being a woman's friend. For all you know, it might lead somewhere if you're not a pushy asshole or she might find you that soulmate (if you ask me, that doesn't really exist but who am I to tell anyone not to bother looking if I'm not being paid to tell them that).
I'm not sure whether some guys are just bursting with confidence in a way my ex wasn't or they are seriously clueless. Do I attract ugly guys simply because I have humanity in me? If that's true, it's a damn curse. I'd like to interact with guys I find cute who also don't annoy me enough to make me want to see a heavy object fall on their heads. Perhaps that's the eternal issue though. Do other pretty girls who aren't in exclusive relationships go through this? I know the average looking girls do.
Speaking of being paid to talk people out of things, I wonder if there's such a business or scheme where people get paid to talk others out of getting married or staying in a bad marriage. I could probably convince people to shun marriage. Maybe some people hate a prospective in-law. Maybe some friends don't like their buddy making a commitment to an abuser, a ball buster, or just someone who is an intolerable misanthrope. Not sure if you could have talked me out of getting married to my ex but maybe I should have told my one friend to shoot me or have me committed.
I think I did tell him to do that if I ever showed an inkling of wanting to get married again. If I didn't, I'll have to tell him along with plenty of other people. Don't let me get married or commit to someone; remind me of the massive pain, heartbreak, betrayal and other bullshit I'm going to have to deal with because of giving up my independence & sharing my life with someone. I would certainly share my story if I had to talk someone out of getting or staying married; I'm far happier being out of it than I was in the bad times.
Personally, I feel like those bad times were engineered by my ex rather than something that was credible. Who needs a relationship like that? Isn't it funny how you get out of a situation, get treated better & look back on what you thought was great to realize that it wasn't what you thought it was?
I realized I like having a guy to pamper me & do so without being resentful or pissy about it. That is how it SHOULD be. Women shouldn't have to be worrying about some guy being resentful for doing things for them. If some guy has an issue with it, he may want to examine himself & figure out why he's alone or not with the model types (or at least one who isn't "plastic"). It's not so much that women are gold diggers; you can be generous of heart without being a millionaire. It also doesn't matter if a woman needs to be taken care of or not; self-sufficient women who aren't totally reprehensible do appreciate the gesture (at least I do).
Also, the whole Hobby Lobby case seems related to this issue since they apparently want to make it impossible for women who work there to have rights like the modern citizen. Considering what I've read about their settlement with the NY Attorney General's office & their having products made in China with worker abuse, they're about as "godly" as I am muscular. Let's hope the Supreme Court does the right thing & not allow your employer to shove women into the sugar daddy empire to get their birth control covered since they'll never be able to get it under their health insurance coverage.
Check out some of the medieval legislation going on in places like Ohio, where they want to outlaw abortion even if the mother's life is in danger. So much for that tubal ligation; they'd have a woman like me die from an ectopic pregnancy vs. getting rid of a fetus that will never be viable.
I say if you're pretty, you have the right to be selective & not settle for bullshit. Especially if you just got out of a horrible relationship that in retrospect, wasn't as great as you thought it was. At least that realization makes it possible for me to move on to bigger and better things. As long as you have the unknown, there's limitless potential. Just make sure that guy doesn't support Hobby Lobby's right to micromanage its employee's lives. Maybe they should be forced to raise these unwanted kids since they want to play God so badly. Any guy trying to interfere in such things should also be required to do that. Just my thought.