I'm finding in this new normal that life is all about change & fluidity. Some people just don't fit into it; I can't deal with bullshit or anyone who's going to bring MORE tears, stress, heartache or hassle into my life. In fact, I think it's inhumane to expect me to put up with such things. At this point, I'm just getting used to the fact that life IS change. Things you thought were a certain way just aren't & people you thought were going to be around for a while sometimes disappoint you. However, I feel all experiences have a value (good or bad).
I still feel like I wasted a good chunk of my adult life in this marriage & committing to someone but at least I won't be making that mistake again. One friend told me I've gone from constantly talking about my husband to becoming negative. I pointed out that I DID warn him that was going to happen if my marriage fell apart. Probably an upside for HIM, though. He no longer has to lament on how I'm with a man who's not good enough for me (though one has to wonder just who he DOES think is good enough for me).
Trying to have multiple people around for comfort in these times since I think it's unfair to stick everything onto one person. I also like that now I get to warn people against relationships & marriage as well as cheer up those who want them so badly. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, you know. I realized I missed the excitement in my single life & getting to do new things, have new experiences, etc. Sucks when your spouse isn't open to doing new things & you're itching to go to a new restaurant or learn a new skill or something. Seems I'm also more of an optimist than I thought I was. Plain & simple, I just feel free.
Speaking of being free, I think that's also why I have no qualms about eating out alone. In fact, I embrace it since I like to have all the bread and all the chips for myself. It's MINE, damn it!!! I don't understand why people claim it's so bad. No one has ever given me a look of pity or shitty service because of it. Not sure if this is normal or not but I went to one place & saw a couple eating together right near me; I didn't feel the least bit wistful or envious about it. It was simply a relief to be able to go out alone.
However, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a guy taking me out & paying for me. That's happened on occasion in my new life. Guy interest has been thick since the jerk kicked me out. Seems one man's trash is definitely another man's treasure (actually, more than one man's treasure since I get hit on a lot).
So happy today that now I can watch DVDs on the TV instead of on my laptop. When you're dealing with everything changing, little pleasures make you happy. I think eating alone is great since you can sit in your solitude & reflect on things. I liked doing it when I was going on road trips by myself & had to get dinner. Sometimes I felt like going to sit down restaurants and taking my time. It was always interesting to do that on my way to where I was going (mostly from Atlanta to NC or vice versa).
Oh, and another review you can read if you want: http://www.womanaroundtown.com/sections/playing-around/the-pink-unicorn-by-elise-forier-edie-youll-laugh-youll-cry
Life doesn't stop because some jerk tried to take away everything you care about. If you take nothing else from this blog, at least take that when you read it.