My alterna-Thanksgiving plans have actually been going pretty good. Went to a movie earlier today at Cinema Village. They were playing I Am Divine, a documentary on Divine (go look her up if you don't know who she is; if you're an attorney who doesn't work in entertainment & you actually know who Divine is, I will not only be shocked but I will give you points).
Someone I know was actually interviewed for the documentary, which I did not expect. It's not someone who's a friend but it's also not someone who's gotten on my black list or who I wish bad on. Guess I should get used to that; seems to be one more sign I'm making it regardless of what any money driven person has to say about it.
As we were going to this theater, which took us past Union Square, I saw mindless zombie assholes trying to shop. On our way, I saw some people trying to get in one of the bigger complexes right there & tugging on the locked door. I yell "It wouldn't kill you not to shop on Thanksgiving!" as I walk by. I felt these jerks deserved it & if we don't want retailers to be open then, we should be chewing out the assholes who equate Wal-Mart with the hospital or the police station.
That documentary was awesome, by the way & totally worth seeing. My husband & I were the only 2 people in the theater. Had it been something we didn't enjoy & my husband made a move, I'd have totally gone for it. After all, I did end up making out through an entire movie & then some on my first date with Vampire Boy. It was back in the days when a weekday afternoon ticket to the movies was affordable. I couldn't tell you what happened in the movie & it wasn't something I particularly wanted to see but had gotten invited to + thought the guy was cute so I went. Not to mention being a 20 year old on vacation from college & trying to kill time while waiting for Godiva to call her in for work. I remember the day itself very well since I'd also applied for a bank teller job earlier in the day & had to drive early in the morning.
You also have to remember I hated being in NC & Vampire Boy did as well so that instantly sparked good feeling between us. I've wanted to do that again with my husband so I could have new memories of something I liked doing but it hasn't happened due to movie ticket prices being too much & no good cheap movie theaters nearby. Guess those who want to make out in theaters just have to recreate that experience at home or in their cars, where we ended up after the movie. I feel like it marks the end of an ear & that kind of sucks.
Another end of an era apparently started this year with retailers opening on Thanksgiving. When we left the theater, I saw some jerks leaving and more entering Forever 21, which was open. I yelled loudly "You're part of the problem!" as we went to the subway. I wondered why my husband wasn't amused or commenting himself since I know he despises that crap himself. He claimed it wouldn't do any good. I say you have to confront assholes causing the problems if you want to affect change & point out they are indeed at fault.
I also feel entitled to do it considering I lost my father in June & just learned on Tuesday that my cousin died. He was the same age as my sister & was one of the only cousins we saw that often as kids. Plus, he & his brother were the only cousins we had within our age range. We weren't close as adults but that definitely hits close to home since if my sister died, that would be devastating. This cousin also had drug issues but he didn't try killing himself a bunch of times or tell people he wanted to die. He was medicating from injuries he got in a car accident ages ago. To my knowledge, he wasn't a depressed person; I just couldn't be around him because I like having my law license and the nature of what I do limits who can feasibly be in my life. Plus, dealing with my father means I don't deal with anyone else's issues & just because others are in denial doesn't mean I have to stick around for it.
In case you can't tell, I totally don't do Black Friday & hate it. I'm a cheapskate bargain hunter myself but I'm also a fan of sleeping in my warm bed, getting up later & not being pestered by the general populace. I also avoid putting myself into conflict situations where I know bad things are going to happen; dragging me into them is plain stupid so I opt to avoid them & let the conflict come to me before I act. Plus, there's the Internet.
Tell me, big box retailers. Why the hell do you need employees to come in against their will for no overtime pay when you have websites for customers to shop from? Can't you do deals on there & divert your traffic elsewhere instead of shitting on people's holidays b/c they are "peasants" or more accurately "garbage" to you? How many of you executives or higher ups worked this week? How many are working on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, for that matter? If you personally aren't willing to work on a holiday, you have no business telling anyone else to do so.
Wal-Mart does NOT = a hospital. Restaurants are one thing. Bars are one thing. Movie theaters are one thing. We went to the movies but it's not like employees have to be in your face the entire time. They merely take your tickets or sell food & you are on your own quietly watching the movie. The transaction is very different. I think bars & restaurants are different b/c some people hate their families or have no place to go & shouldn't be deprived of their alcohol if it keeps them from going on a mass killing spree. Not to mention the families like my aunt's or mine who just lost major relatives & don't feel in the holiday spirit. I keep thinking about last Thanksgiving since that's the last time I got to see my father alive.
It actually was a good Thanksgiving even though I'm never going to be a fan of NC. We didn't get into fights & conversation went well. I found out my paternal grandmother's full name so I could research if the story about her being Miss Atlanta, GA back in the day is true or another tall tale from my father's side of the family (they're known for those, though if my looks are any indication [I'm apparently the spitting image of my aunt in her youth] it very well could be true). At least as I do things in this business, I'll have headshots and IMDB to provide a record of me taking advantage of that beauty and getting to use it professionally while no one else has gotten the opportunity.
My sister says my father wanted my cousin up there & she's probably right. He had a close relationship with the guy & considering he & my sister were the same age, I'm sure my father thought of him as the son he never had. My cousin & my father did have things in common.
Yesterday, a thought also occurred to me on all these deaths: no one in my life or related to me with a substance abuse problem is alive anymore. I also feel like I should become some grief expert or the go-to person if there's a death in your family. I already feel like the go-to person for crisis in other areas. I need a nickname but I don't think "The Misery Chick" fits; I'm not miserable or obsessed with death, not even close. A black cloud? I hope not since I don't feel like my personal life should affect my career; it's been a 180 from my personal life & one of the things keeping me going in all this. So I'm not sure.
I also know that I don't want fake sympathy or people to feel bad because they feel it's their "duty" or they "should." Spare me the bullshit & don't offer condolences unless you actually mean it. I'm not a person of ceremony & am not swallowing BS out of "duty" or "obligation." Just isn't in my character, I suppose.
I also am not a piece of glass or a piece of steel: I'm not going to fall apart but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings.
Tomorrow, I'm staying at home & relaxing away from the shopping hell. If you're smart, you'll do the same.
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