TV Shows With Profanity In the Title & Back Off the Celebs Who Don't Carry Family Members

While I was taking the subway, I kept seeing those ads for "GCB" which feature a blond woman in what looks like a wannabe nun's habit complete with a cross but no head piece. I said "GCB" ought to stand for "Good Christian Bitch" since I've known a TON of women who claim to be "good Christians" but are actually nothing but total bitches. Some are so bad, they'd put Snooki & all the Kardashians to shame. I'll give them one thing: they have never pretended to be religious. Morally bankrupt, sure but at least they're not telling us they praise Jesus & supporting Rush Limbaugh's recent tirades against Sandra Fluke in the same breath.

Needless to say, I have some deep cynicism when it comes to the Christians.

So imagine my surprise on Friday evening when I find out that "CGB" actually does stand for "Good Christian Bitch!" Either someone's got the same cynicism I have about Christianity born from years of living in a religious household in the South or I'm just that good.

This brings me to another point, though. If you can't even say the full title of a show, why the hell would you include profanity in it? I would be pissed if I were calling my show "God Damn Motherfucking Bitch," for example & you decided to refer to it as "GDMB." That's just stupid. We all know what it says & last I checked, the FCC standards aren't so high that everything MUST be suitable for the sandbox or it's obscene (to paraphrase a quote from a famous U.S. Supreme Court case "FCC vs. Pacifica" which dealt with the airing of George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" monologue during a radio broadcast). From "Sh[symbols] My Dad Says" to "Dance Your A.. Off," it's pathetic.

Here's some ideas:

1. Tell the moralistic puritanical crybabies to shut up. After all, they're causing enough problems right now with trying to rid the world of contraceptives in an effort to stop even married people from having sex. If they're worried about their little children, I suggest they block their access to the Internet, music playing on the radio & home school them.

Finally, last I checked little babies can't read & don't know what "shit" or "bitch" means. Some of these words are even in Bible scriptures, for Christ's sake! What do these idiots do in Bible study, censor the Bible? Personally, I don't want such superstitious demographics watching my show or consuming my work anyway since they're too simple to get it.

2. Change the name to something that's still subversive & snarky without making the religious crybabies get their panties in a knot. You could still call this show for example "The Worst Christians Ever" or "Hypocrites" and still tick them off if they actually know what some of these words mean.

3. Play your show on HBO, IFC or some other network that doesn't cater to little kids or breeder mentalities & that those groups have no business watching in the first place.

The whole Rush Limbaugh controversy is a perfect illustration of why certain people should be fixed & taken to their own island to create their own theocracy. I don't like paying taxes for your little children's school or your Viagra, you know? Nor do I like paying for deadbeats who won't take care of the kids they bring into the world with fewer resources for my family, more danger to my health & well being, etc. Sandra Fluke could have been any fertile woman walking around here: your daughter, cousin, friend, sibling, etc. Even my own niece, who was attending the very same law school as Ms. Fluke.

I was at least lucky to get a tubal but what about childfree women who haven't been? You think it's peachy keen to tell those women what to do when YOU won't be paying for the upkeep, carrying a baby, etc.?!?! Telling people to be lifelong virgins while you'd laugh your ass off at someone who was a 30 year old virgin & laugh even harder as that person got older and kept their virginity. Popular media is certainly not the only group that would get yuks from this.

Funny, but it's not my fault or anyone else's that you're too ugly for anyone to think impure thoughts about. Go work on yourself & stop blaming the rest of the world for your spiritual failings. I know God wouldn't approve.

Speaking of other things God wouldn't approve of, what is it with all these tabloids & people speaking out when some celebrity doesn't let a family member leech off him/her? If it's not Brad Pitt's grandmother, it's Madonna's brother or Jennifer Lopez's alma matter.

Here's a thought: consider your own family. Do you have relatives who've been jerks to you? People who told you they loved you less than other family members? People who were total dream killers & told you "you will never make it" or "you will fail?" Even simply a family member who plays martyr all the time & gets pissy if you don't properly prostrate yourself after (s)he does something you never asked him/her to do?

Aside from the issue of addiction (another very big thing that if you've not lived it, you don't know shit about it or where letting that person go might be the only way), how do you know Brad Pitt's grandmother was some great relative who supported him? How do you know she wasn't some mega-bitch to him who tried sabotaging his career? Not every grandparent is some shining example of loveliness & kindness.

If my own would indeed react the way my mother predicted she would concerning my sister, do you really think I'd bother giving a second thought to such a person's needs? I have a number of family members I don't get along with; me becoming a public figure in any scope isn't going to change that & it won't make me become charitable to them. Nor should I have to. You reap what you sow in this life & guess what? These people don't owe the public an explanation or public apology for not letting someone they share a blood tie with leech off of them. I have some compassion for this as someone from a dysfunctional family & with an alcoholic father. No actor or anyone we ever work with will owe me those explanations & I certainly won't base my opinions on someone as a person or contact on family stuff I've got no knowledge of.

To crystallize this a little more for those of you outside this field, I was at a networking event a few days ago & met someone there who told me about having a degree from an Ivy League school to then go into this business. It made me be happy I didn't have something like that to be hassled over. We were talking about how people outside this business don't get it & are too content doing the easy thing instead of what they'd really want to do. It's sad, really. Do you really think those of us who put ourselves on the line & succeed are going to do a damn thing for you lazy, fearful jerks who want to shove us down? What drugs are you taking? I think there may be some people who'd like to get some.