NY Comic Con, Day 1: Shopping Ahoy!

With all the stuff I've been doing this week, time has not been my friend. I had been meaning to write of my Comic Con experience earlier but sadly, that didn't happen so now comes my assessments & all that stuff.

This was my first time at Comic Con. The prices for passes are too damn high for me, I'm not a comic fan (that would be my husband's department) & despite all his stories, I figured it would appeal much more to my husband than me. I got my professional pass and figured I'd go to network, check out vendors, go to the infamous Venture Brothers & Robot Chicken panels hubby had been telling me about for years (he's been to every single one ever since we've lived here & he could go to Comic Con on a professional pass) & while we had that booklet for Get a Life, see about getting it autographed by Chris Elliott while he was allegedly going to be there (we'll get to more of this in Day 3).

My husband briefed me on the whole experience of Comic Con. A few tips:

1. Wear comfortable shoes.
2. Bring a bag for your loot. If it's your first year there, you will buy something.
3. Get there early for the professionals line.
4. Avoid going on Saturday like the plague.
5. Bring portable food to eat since the food at Javitz is greasy & too expensive, even by NYC standards.

One very valuable tip he gave me that I used was: if you see something you want, buy it because it may not be there the next day.

This turned out to be great advice because by Sunday, it was slim pickings.

We arrived there a little after 12:30 if I recall. Here's where we were in line:

As time passed toward 3 p.m., when the floor opened the line got longer. Here are some views of that:

It gets long, doesn't it?

So as we were in line, I overheard conversations, listened to music on my iPod & occasionally sat down to rest my legs. When the line moved, we got up really quick even with our stuff on us.

Eventually, we got onto the exhibit floor. We spent our whole day there. One observation worth noting: if you're not a comics person, you can probably still find stuff here. I bought quite a few things, in fact.

For instance, these plushes from I Heart Guts. The lady at that booth was awesome. She asked if I'd been there last year; I explained it was my first year & we'd seen her site before going there so it had been a planned stop.

Basically, I Heart Guts is a retailer that has plush versions of various organs. Things like hearts, brains, bladders but even lady & man parts like the testicles and ovaries. Here's what I got there on Thursday:

A brain. Because, everyone should have one. If you don't, you are an idiot who needs to stop taking up so much oxygen.

A black heart! Since as a lawyer, it felt only proper that I have one. Why not a literal expression of something people will already tell you I have based on my occupation & being "the enforcer?"

And an ovary since I like the weird & unusual in my plushes. Plus, it's controversial & since I grew up with a Puritanical parent there's always a part of me that's going to gravitate toward the controversial. Getting that also gave me a brilliant idea for a video blog & inspired another purchase from them the next day. I plan to do this visual rant right near election time (you know, pretty damn soon once I can get my hubby to be cameraman for it).

I gave the lady here my card since she was awesome & I'd totally love to use that product placement in my company's work if given the opportunity. Perhaps even in my own project.

We did a lot of browsing around on Thursday. Got some free cereal from the Kellogg's Krave booth. I'd had the regular chocolate before. With milk, it's the weirdest stuff.

Major point to make here: there are LOTS of things at Comic Con that have NOTHING to do with comics. There was a Craftsman booth, a Chevrolet booth that had cars with no relation to comics, wrestler booths, gamer stuff, weapons, etc. I had thought the Craftsman booth was to encourage women who were being harassed by the fan boys to use tools to beat them down & repel them away. My thought was they were giving live instruction on how to use tools for that purpose. No, they apparently created their own comic book that was being given away.

Even NBC Universal had a booth to advertise their daytime talk shows, many of them extremely trashy! I went with my husband to the dentist once in the East 100s of Manhattan (which is not a nice area & we thought it was low income). When I was in the waiting room, they were playing Maury Povitch and I overheard some people in the waiting room who struck me as being from the very demographic most people will tell you Maury Povitch is trying to appeal to say that they felt Maury was trashy with all the "Who's my Baby's Daddy?" stuff. The very same complaints, I might add that so called "educated" & "professional" types make about daytime talk shows (some of which I've heard with my own ears).

Steve Wilkos was scheduled to make a public appearance there on Saturday or Sunday but I didn't show up for that one. I personally think that show would be much better if Steve Wilkos were given a gun, could blow away proven child molesters & the like with zero liability on him or the show if he did so and enough checks were done to make sure the proper animals were taken out. If he also got to take out corrupt politicians & Wall Street bankers, I think we'd all be on board for that one (all proven of course; you have to make sure people are actually guilty first or admit to their wrongdoing). The only people who wouldn't be are too wimpy to live if you want my honest opinion. If you know one, ask if they would live next door to a convicted child molester if they had kids or let that child molester babysit for them since they're so gung ho about NEVER killing ANYONE, no matter what the person did (even if it was horrific, gruesome & harmed multiple babies/little kids/disabled people/puppies/kittens/whatever weakened group you feel sympathy for). Let's see how they feel about murdering people who do these things & have zero remorse or are actually proud of molesting babies (or whatever inhuman atrocity they committed)!

Doing that would also accomplish televised murders without too much extra cost.

Amidst all this craziness, I found another vendor whose clothing caught my eye. Specifically, this dress:

She told me she only had that one & it was in a Small. As I often wear a small or x-small in things, I wasn't sure if it would fit. She told me the sizing was a little different than normal & it was based on your hips. However, based on mine she felt the dress would fit. If it didn't, she said, I could come back tomorrow & exchange it. I decided to take the risk since I thought it looked awesome, I had nothing even close to similar & it was an okay price for me.

Sometimes, the vendors you get things from don't have names. They just have cool, awesome merchandise that catches your eye & says "Consider buying me." This one actually shouted "Buy me!" As per my policy, I had to get it and at least see if it fit.

Then, I found one jewelry vendor called The Silver Necklace. They were another planned stop for my shopping purposes. Their earring display in particular caught my eye so I spent time looking there. I ended up getting 4 new pairs of earrings:

Slices of cake. Definitely appealed to my unique sense of style.

You can't see these well but they are black hearts with some colored patterns on them. They look nicer with more light.

I saw these & immediately thought of a brown silver necklace charm I'd gotten recently. It was a brown heart, presumably a chocolate heart lollipop. If I can match something I see on a shelf to something I own, I definitely consider that in the choice to buy.

And lastly:

This was a no brainer since I thought "These will match that white dress & other stuff I have." Plus, they could work in a business setting.

I also finally got a corset. That had been on my wish list for ages:

This is a quality corset from Timeless Trends in Austin, TX. Has a lifetime guarantee, in fact. I also made sure to try it on before getting it. That had to be an event since people saw you being laced into them when you were trying them on.

If you've never had a corset on, it's scary as hell at first. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to breathe. I also wasn't sure if I could eat or move in it. I tried on 2 and this one felt much better. I think also having that sense memory of having one on helped some since the second try on wasn't as scary. In fact, I think wearing a corset could even help your back since my back felt much straighter after I was wearing them.

Their staff was very friendly & helpful in this whole trying on experience. The saleswoman there also made me feel at ease when I said I felt like I couldn't breathe when I tried on the first corset; I was worried it was just me who had that but I guess maybe it's one of those first timer things.

If you bought a corset at Comic Con, I hope you went here since some vendors had ones that weren't as well made or high quality in materials. The price I paid for mine also wasn't as bad as I thought; I expected to pay $200-300 for one & mine was $99.

For more shopping, we found another unnamed vendor. He was selling some T-shirts that were hilarious. He told us of a special fondness of parodying Mickey Mouse & apparently Disney doesn't mind the parodies as long as you clearly state that your product isn't from Disney or endorsed by them. Since we'd gone to Orlando before, I mentioned my husband's joke about Mickey controlling Orlando because of the mouse head power poles & how my husband did it in the voice of Goofy. It was hilarious & we kept making jokes about how gay people weren't welcome in Disney World because of Walt Disney's hatred of Jews and Disney World's branding itself as a "family" place. He had some Clockwork Orlando shirts that I wanted to talk my husband into getting for himself (at least one since I know he is a fan of A Clockwork Orange). He got a different shirt on Friday.

I, however, got one of the Disney parody shirts. I LOVED this:

Yes, it says "Mouse of 1,000 Corpses!" When I saw it, I had to get it.

Finally, I got a pink stuffed Nerd from the Nerds booth. Nerds: the snack that will give you an instant sugar rush & make you a beloved figure to 95% of children.

Picking a color was really hard, though. They had light purple & blue as well.

We also got some collective loot. First off, a Choo Choo Bear plush from Something Positive:

For those who haven't read Something Positive, Choo Choo Bear is the lead character's cat. This cat is hairless & boneless. He also reminds me an awful lot of our little kitty, who is just as smart & mischievous though he was fixed before he could have kittens and I believe our cat is asexual. He hates all creatures equally & has never liked other cats. When he was a kitten, he was taken to visit my husband's then girlfriend. That chick had a Maine Coon (here's what they look like). Maine Coons are large ass cats, to say the least.

Our cat was a very tiny kitten though he's a large cat now. The second smallest in his litter, if I remember.

Normally, if you are a cat entering another cat's turf you are screwed since the cat who lives there has the advantage. Not our cat!

Nope, that little gray kitten hisses the Maine Coon! The Maine Coon backs off. See what I mean about our cat hating all creatures? We love him, though. He's got moxie & doesn't take any shit unless he loves you. I sure wouldn't let anyone be nasty to this cat or they'd have to die/suffer his furry wrath. Cats have caused death before. Watch 1,000 Ways to Die for an example.

We also got a Felix clock:

The tail is a pendulum and the eyes move! My husband's wanted one of those classic cat clocks for ages & I always thought they were neat so this was another thing off our wish list. It was fortunate that we got it on Thursday because by Sunday, they were long gone.

I was shocked at all the shopping opportunities. My husband laments the shrinking number of comic retailers at COMIC con. I did also slip my card to the people at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. As an entertainment lawyer, probably a good idea to know something about it since I do know writers in general & it's a project I'd give a damn about that's more creative than most legal pro bono projects.

Stay tuned for parts 2 & 3 of this series. We did not go to Comic Con on Saturday since it was our wedding anniversary & Saturday's bad reputation. Me + long lines = bad enough to deal with but me + long lines + my anniversary = negative level of patience, more anger & great likelihood I will physically harm someone and end up being arrested, ejected or something not good for anyone concerned. I definitely have things to say about Friday & Sunday though the presentations will be less visual.

A Great, Impassioned Response to Those Old Timers Who Think The Student Loan Debt Crisis is Nothing & Students are "Lazy" or "Entitled"

Just read this comment on this story. It has to be shared since it's classic & a total smack down. You know how I love those.

Author: LadiiE36

I am so SICK and TIRED of having the Baby Boomers and the more elderly generations tell my peers and me that we are "spoiled" and "entitled." From the day I was born, my parents worked their butts off to provide for me and to foster an environment that encouraged education. And it is MY understanding that THAT is what GOOD parents do. My parents went to college, my grandparents went to college, my whole family went to college, so I am NOT going to apologize to ANYONE for wanting to have that same opportunity. I read through all the comments from individuals stating that ALL I have to do is "work while I'm in school".....that just goes to show you how out of touch most of those individuals are. This is 2012 not 1977. Tuition has SKYROCKETED and job opportunities have PLUMMETED, making it almost impossible for students to be able to do both. I might also remind the previous generation that when you were paying for school, tuition looked something like $5,000. That is NOT the case anymore. It is not possible for most students to pay their $30,000 tuitions by working minimum wage jobs, part-time.

And I am also sick and tired of ignorant people telling us how "easy" it is to "just find a job." If that were the case, don't you think we'd be doing that? I can personally tell you that even while I'm in school, I scour ads and job sites on a daily basis for available jobs that will help me pay off my loans when I graduate. And you know what a common requirement is for those jobs?? A COLLEGE OR ADVANCED DEGREE. So don't tell me that degrees aren't necessary anymore. CEO's and managers DO want EDUCATED employees, so it is just plain stupid and uninformed of people to spout off about a degree being unnecessary. And I find it INFURIATING to read comments telling my peers and I that it’s our fault that we “waste” money on “useless” degrees in areas other than the hard sciences, math or engineering. You obviously make those assertions based on the premise that ALL students are good in those areas, or have any interest in those areas, whatsoever. Please stop making wild and unfounded statements like that when the previous generations had the privilege of getting jobs and degrees in all areas including art, business, finance, law, teaching, journalism, biology, English, religion, sociology, psychology, medicine, engineering, etc....YOU are the ones who fostered this idea that students can do anything they want....and that's exactly what you all did, you got to enjoy jobs in multiple areas. Now my generation wants the opportunity to do the same and you have the AUDACITY to call us spoiled and entitled?! That is UNACCEPTABLE. The truth is, the previous generations feel entitled. You all believe you put in work to pay off your $3,000 loans some 30 odd years ago, and think that somehow now entitles you to sit around and use up all the available resources made available to you by MY generation. So, YOU'RE WELCOME.

And you want to talk about entitled? How about you acknowledge that this failing economy is NOT just the result of a greedy government, but banks and businesses run by greedy older individuals who abused the advantages of a once flourishing economic system. Now these same banks and companies want bail-outs because THEY also don't want to pay back the money they owe. And how about the individuals currently collecting social security? I tell you what, I won't ask you for any help paying back my loans, if you ALL agree that my peers and I no longer have to chip in for your social security checks. Sound fair? Especially considering that by the time we retire, YOU all will have dried up the entire fund leaving NOTHING for us. MY generation is the FIRST generation in the HISTORY of this country to be left WORSE OFF than the previous generation, and you want to blame that on US. That's crap, and I know you all know that. But instead of wanting to accept the responsibility for the failed decision making of all the previous generations, you call us names and tell us we expect too much. Why shouldn't we? You all have homes, and cars, and families, and jobs, and educations, but now that we want the same things, you tell us that our expectations are unrealistic. You've left us all with nothing and now we are supposed to quash all our hopes and dreams, or “put them on hold” and settle for mindless jobs as garbage men and ditch diggers, oh please! I refuse to apologize for putting in hard work and wanting MORE for myself. It is the prior generations who should be apologizing to US for being greedy and making horrible decisions that are now affecting my generation.

So I say again, I am NOT going to apologize for taking out loans to provide myself with the necessary education to make MY life better. And I am NOT going to apologize if the government is trying to find a way to help my peers and I to get out from under this enormous financial clusterf*ck left to us by our parents, grandparents, etc…quite honestly, it is the LEAST you all can do.

Nope, I didn't write this one. I also have a TON more entries to write (that one on Comic Con & my latest extra gig for 2) but that will have to wait until my schedule is calm enough. These posts don't happen in 3 seconds; they require actual time & (gasp!) WORK!

Extra Gigs #7 & #8: Helping A Brother Out & Not Chasing the Fly

The next 2 extra gigs I'm going to write about were through friends. #7 was my own film company and #8 was for the aforementioned Scott Powers Studio, whom I've spoken of before in this very blog.

Gig #7 happened a couple months back when we were doing some shooting for The Butterfly Chasers, our next feature film & the first one that will contain name actors. Being on my own company's set instilled a sense of pride in me. Here's why:

1. My people are incredibly professional. Our Production Coordinator was doing an awesome job and our dear friend Jen (my CEO's significant other who should probably have some hand in casting due to ) introduced herself to everyone upon arrival. This is not something I've seen often in my own extra experiences so I'm glad she took the time to do that.

2. I got to wear an outfit that wasn't mine though our wardrobe person did compliment what I brought for the shoot. The coolest thing was when I stepped out in my dress, everyone just sort of stops, watches me & raves about how great I look. I'm just all nonchalant about it, as I often am. It always kind of shocks me at times when someone & especially when lots of people just marvel at my looks like that. Remember, I wasn't the girl who stopped traffic when I was younger so for me it's not like I generally see a supermodel when I get up in the morning or look in the mirror. When people fawn over me, especially those who could certainly stop traffic themselves, it's like "Really?! You mean ME?!"

3. Our actors aren't pretentious or douchey folk. Granted, I've not personally met any actors on sets who were douchebags & I already knew most of the people on our set but I think even a total stranger would feel the family atmosphere going on. Our people actually spoke to extras & there wasn't that "I'm better than you" vibe going on.

If you ask me, this is a testament to my CEO & my team since they don't have time for or take any mess. I certainly won't, which you know if you've read this blog or met me in real life. It's not so much everyone else is bad; it's that my team went above & beyond to make life on set happy for everyone not just the talent with lines.

Overall, this was the best experience I had & I could certainly impart tips and advice on how to do it right if you've got a small set. Want to know? Ask me.

The best part about working with my team is I already have an IMDB credit for that role.

As for gig #8, which will cover most of this post, I actually solicited for that one. I solicited for #7 as well but that was largely due to it being my company and the fact that I would always be welcome to visit the set at any time as a partner, at my leisure and on my schedule. Plus, that was a shot to see some people I don't get to see regularly.

What happened to my saying "no more?" Well, I decided to look into Scott's gig since I had never done a gig with his company and he gets the most random projects for casting. Plus, knowing his reputation and his Weekly Tips, I figured it would be a good idea for me to go on one of his projects myself to see what caliber of folk he's dealing with, explore the professionalism involved and all that good stuff.

I responded to the ad the week before since the part was tailor made for me & my experiences (my extra gigs have mostly consisted of "pretty business person" & fashionista type roles; pretty much me in real life). I got the role of fashion show attendee/designer. The call time was on a Tuesday morning at 6:30 a.m. so I got very little sleep. As in, 3-4 hours of sleep. On 5 hours, I can function pretty well. On 3-4 hours, I actually didn't do half bad.

Mercifully, the shoot was in Manhattan and at a nightclub that hasn't gotten good reviews on Yelp. The setting itself looked very nice though. Holding was on the 3rd floor of this club on a series of cushioned booth seats.

I got the call for this gig on a Sunday, believe it or not. Since I had free time on Tuesday and two pesky 3 disc CLE courses I should watch before January, I figured it might be worth considering this extra gig so I'd actually make some progress there. I was also bumped up to a higher rate because the person at Scott's office said "You've been here before right? I'm going to bump you up to the higher rate." With that offer (which I never asked for), plans for gig #8 was set in motion.

On arrival, I started watching Disc 1 of one of those CLE courses. After all, it was early in the morning (I got there 30 minutes early) and I didn't know anyone there. In fact, this was the very first extra gig I've done where someone didn't recognize me from my entertainment law/film exec life.

The wardrobe person actually picked out for me the very dress I wanted to wear that day. It's a brand new one and I have not gotten to wear it elsewhere yet. It's black with red roses on it and has a jeweled shoulder piece. When I saw it online, I had to get it. It sort of makes up for a long dress I have in a similar shade that doesn't fit me so well now. I actually wore that one in my senior class picture. You can see me in it in my senior yearbook as I'm sitting with my classmates in our gym's bleachers.

I've said before that I can not take just any old role. Here is an example of why that's so:

One of the roles to be filed for this project was for lingerie models. That is the sort of job I will not do unless it's on my own project since I get to call the shots and decide what I will or won't do if it's my project. The main reasons I won't do any old part are ethical concerns (since I'd rather not be suspended or disbarred for bringing scandal on the legal profession; you can't even be a lawyer working in a dungeon or doing soft core porn if you hope to continue working in my field so I figure it's best not to take chances) & not losing credibility as a film industry exec.

There comes a scene where the lingerie models have to swoon and be groupies to a major hip hop star. They cast a real life hip hop star for this part. That star is affiliated with a well known hip hop group. An executive member of that hip hop group is someone I have met personally & who is a close friend of my CEO's. That executive member has also said very good things about my professionalism & if asked, I'd tell you good things about him as well since I've found him to be a good person.

So imagine if I'd played one of those lingerie models. How would I be able to be the film exec/entertainment lawyer for that hip hop star if I'd been doing this extra scene where I had to play his groupie? It's not exactly outside the realm of possibility that this hip hop star could be considered for a project with my company considering this link to the executive member of that group. Can you saw "awkward?" That kind of thing would mess up my professional cred. Hence, I do not put myself in situations where that could ever be an issue. It's also why I'm extremely & mega-picky when it comes to roles for myself (aside from a spouse who wouldn't appreciate the world gawking at and trying to touch my scantily clad behind).

Another fact you should know about me & being on extra sets: I believe in the whole "extras should be seen and not heard" ethic. If you don't speak to me, I'm not speaking to you. This has been stressed a million times at Central Casting (do not bother the talent) & as a film company owner myself, it is not my intention to disrespect someone else's set. I would kill someone doing that to my team so I'm not about to do that to someone else.

Unless maybe you speak about legal stuff & you're fucking it up, you won't get me to speak. In that scenario, I figure my words would probably be welcome as well as necessary since I'm a skilled professional in that context. It would be akin to a doctor giving medical attention if someone needed it or a person giving it was about to kill the unconscious person by giving him/her the wrong drugs. I think most of us would want that doctor to intervene no matter where we or the doctor was on the food chain.

Generally though, if you want to talk to me you WILL have to talk first. I don't care if you think I'm snobby or unfriendly. You'll have to get off your duff & do something first.

I also don't do much networking on the sets. This is mostly because I do not want a flood of actors bothering me with legal stuff. As I say, I won't ask for your autograph if you don't ask me for free legal advice.

Plus, it seems I also give off the vibe of authority & capability. I like to think I also come off as a professional since it does seem every time I want to sit some days, I get asked to be in a scene. I'm like "An extra's work is never done," & go ahead. After all, that's what you're there for. I did also get fake snow dropped on me as we were doing scenes but it thankfully did not affect my dress.

The biggest take away I have from doing this extra experience: pray for the filmmakers on this set. Pray hard for the cast & crew of this film. Why do I say this? Isn't filmmaking already a hard, long endeavor taking lots of time and energy?

Yes, but I say this for a special reason: the utter unprofessionalism I saw amongst extras!

Clearly, some of these people have never worked for Central Casting. Three standouts in particular come to mind. Let's call them Bitch #1, Bitch #2 and Random Photographer.

Both Bitch #1 & #2 complain about everything the entire day. I hear them at different times of day. Bitch #2 is sitting near me in holding & when the wardrobe person says she can't wear the outfit she had on, she throws a hissy fit about it. The wardrobe person said she liked it but they can't do that b/c of the camera. Apparently, Bitch #2 has never heard that you can't wear white or red for this stuff. She was like "they should have told us no bright colors."

Granted this was not an assignment I would have recommended if you hadn't done extra work before but if you don't know something, ask questions. That's what the people at the casting company are there for. I know they're more than happy to answer questions for you since they know if you aren't happy, you will make things bad for the filmmakers & that will fall back on them. They don't want that.

And some people bitch about Central Casting treating them like children. That experience symbolizes WHY Central Casting does that! Bitch #2 is a living example of why that method works.

Later in the day, she pissed me off when I was trying to pick up my shoes and coat after they'd been moved for filming the last scene. She apparently mistook me for someone who didn't have a life and couldn't squeeze through to get things. After I squeeze by to get my stuff while she's standing in the path (it became a bit of a Mexican standoff), she goes "Oh, that's real classy." After she walks off, I say (probably not loud enough to be heard or if I was, no one commented) "Real nice to make comments like that when you don't even know who you're talking to." She moves away from that spot in holding when we're changing to leave like I care.

Then, when we're signing forms & turning in the paperwork, she harasses this poor PA to make her a copy of the time sheet so she'll have one for her records. It's not so much the asking that bothered me but just her tone & behavior w/this poor young woman. Bitch #2 claimed the jacket in her initial outfit made her look like Anna Wintour. Apparently, she thought she should behave like Anna Wintour on set.

Let me advise would be extras right now: don't behave like Anna Wintour unless you want to be blacklisted from the industry.

Bitch #1 complained on set about not being included in the bar for a scene. She alleged age discrimination against her & the older fellow extra she was talking to. For some reason, they had to occupy space near me. I overheard parts of their conversation & eventually had to move away b/c the negativity was bothering me. For those of you who think I'm a negative person because I'm angry, I think this fact might poke a few holes in that theory. I consider myself more of a realist & rational thinker who will face facts vs. someone who bitches & causes problems where none exist.

I think Bitch #1 left early because I didn't see her later as we were dressing out and leaving set for the day. Another extra informed me later that Bitch #1 openly tried telling the director how to do his job. We were sitting in the audience in that scene & I was glad he was there since guess who was sitting there before? Bitch #1!

Bitch #1 also had the gall to tell me what to do when they were placing us & I was trying to find where to sit for the scene. I hope the director ejected her; she claimed she'd been in this business for years & had experience as an extra. If you heard her, you'd have probably also concluded the same thing I did. Which was "Clearly you are still doing this because you're a whiny, complaining bitch."

The director & telling me what to do stuff happened after she was speaking of her prior experience. She was telling a few other extras about this while I was sitting nearby but not participating in the conversation.

Random Photographer is how I learned about the hip hop artist being in that scene with the lingerie models. I ended up in that scene as someone crossing in front of the action. I don't think having done that will kill my enforcer cred or power as an exec or attorney.

When the director is getting his picture taken with this gentleman, she asks for & gets a picture with him. Apparently, this major hip hop star is looking at doing more films with this director (or at least the director wanted him to) so who knows if this director might be someone I meet or draft paperwork for later on. She tells folks about this major hip hop star being there & how he was with this major rap group where we have that contact. I thought "Info to store for later."

Random photography w/the famous is also a major no-no.

A third fact about me & sets: chances are, I won't know who the hell you are unless you tell me. I don't really watch network shows & remember that as an entertainment law attorney, I'm not a fan of anyone I've not personally met or had an interaction with. You have to actually do something for me to form an impression of you, good or bad. All I know from seeing you on TV or in a movie is whether you've got any talent or not.

I have no idea what type of hell you put the director through or if you return phone calls, have some general humanity or any sense of class. If I don't know that, I'm not going to bother dealing with you or referring you to anyone. I don't care how big your name is; my team doesn't need bullshit. We'll find other names who are respectful & won't be doing things to get on my shit list (a list you do have to put some considerable effort to get onto).

As gatekeeper, I'm not letting you through if you harass, annoy or cause problems for me. This blog should show you enough evidence of how steadfast I am to that ethic. Do your research.

This also goes back to number #1 about extras being seen but not heard. If you've heard I'm some great entertainment law attorney, you'll have to talk to me. Again, I won't talk to you. I prefer online correspondence anyway.

I don't know whether Scott knows about some of this but I really hope those people weren't coming in multiple days for the director's & the PAs' sakes. If asked, I'd certainly elaborate on it.

Lastly, we were there an hour longer that told. You can imagine the carrying on that happened w/that. My main concern was if we went past 7. Since that didn't happen, it was all good.

I also came to a major decision on the whole acting thing. Basically, I decided that doing the whole "get representation" thing & spending tons of days a week working isn't going to work for me. I even said before I wasn't going to do the full time actor thing but I think that includes not getting representation.

Took me a while to come to that choice but I feel it's the best one for me. I'd rather work on my terms and do things in my own way. If someone notices me & wants to do something, I'd rather it be their choice. Essentially, I've decided not to chase the fly but to let the fly come to me instead. If it does, great. If it doesn't, no big deal. I'll get my own opportunities and do things on my time.

I had also decided not to do more extra work until I got a call during Comic Con from a casting company I'd not worked with who asked if I wanted to work next week on "The Good Wife." I also got an offer to work tomorrow but I declined in favor of going shopping with hubby and generally taking a break from the crazy that is Comic Con. More information on that one, along with an accounting of my loot later on. Boy, do I have things to write for that experience!

Wow, Seems OU is Finally Doing Some Things Right

Oglethorpe University: it's the school I got my college degree from. You can probably tell I have a mixed relationship there. My history was not so great in some major aspects. As I mentioned in that last post, I went to an alumni event I was invited to on Monday.

My expectations weren't very high & I wasn't sure I'd have a good time. I was concerned, for one thing, about having to deal with the bitchy attorney who pretty much told me I had no chance in Hell of ever getting to live out my dream of being in New York City (at the time, I didn't know there was such a thing as being an entertainment lawyer).

I was also concerned it was going to be a big "give me money" fest. That was a huge thing when I was in undergrad; every time you turned around, you were being begged at for money. Even in my senior year, I remember being accosted to contribute to the Senior Gift (which I did not contribute to due to the total lack of support I got in terms of financial matters & feeling like the institution was sabotaging me). I remember them asking me to give money mere months after I graduated.

You know, maybe we should institute some rule that says schools you graduate from can't ask for money until you've been out for at least 5 years. For law schools & professional programs, let's make it 10 years.

Turned out it was a good thing I went because of a great many things:

1. People were nice to me. In fact, one girl I knew recognized me instantly & gave me a hug. She told me I looked great. So did she. She was a member of Chi Omega, which had a HUGE chapter at my school; in fact, their chapter was the oldest one there. I told her about being mistaken for a member of Chi Omega (this was when I was a freshman & we were doing Greek Week) & she said "That's because you're cute." I had to tell her what Psycho Boy told me about how I was the prettiest of our founding members, though it was not my intention to diss them in that story. I was simply sharing an anecdote. The first thing she does is tell her husband about how I founded a sorority chapter. Chi Omega was definitely known for having hot girls; I had kind of hoped Psycho Boy would just meet one of them & not bother me anymore when he was getting too carried away w/me but sadly, that didn't work even though he'd not been a fan of redheads before me.

That made me feel really good considering it felt like us against the world when I was there. It also gave further validation of my no longer being an ugly girl.

I also no longer get to diss Chi Omega though believe me, there was dissing going on & probably among all 3 sororities. I don't think I really have a personal beef with them; maybe it was more akin to sorority rivalries.

At this time, I learned about a website called "Chi Omega Secrets" where this former member who'd had a very bad experience in her chapter decided to create a website revealing all of Chi Omega's secrets. To my knowledge, that site's long gone but if you saw it, you would believe that Chi Omega is akin to the Wall Street bankers or the Freemasons in their evil doings & that all the members have hearts as black as Satan himself. Heck, you'd probably hate all sororities if you'd seen that one. The book Pledged probably also killed us though none of that happened in my sorority experience. Don't know if that's because of the circumstances in which I came into my sorority or not but it is the truth.

After all, could you imagine someone like me putting up with hazing? You can't haze people who hold lifelong grudges. They'd eventually kill you or not save you if you were in trouble.

I just felt sorry for the members having to live up to this lofty standard to belong & likely not getting to just relax and be themselves. Many of the founders in my own chapter were not friendly with folks in Chi Omega & preferred the girls in the other sorority on my campus (at that time, Sigma Sigma Sigma).

Oh, and if you question people remembering me I had someone who graduated the year I came in who knew who I was. I didn't recall him & he wasn't a friend of mine or anything but he'd worked at the Admissions Office and said he remembered my coming in. If that guy could remember who I was after not seeing me in a good 10 years, that tells you something & gives me credibility to get pissed if you forget who I am.

2. The President of the university came up & spoke to me directly. I didn't know who he was when he approached me since I'd be talking to someone else before that & he just came up. We started talking and then I was like "I don't believe I caught your name," then learned who he was. He said to me "I think I got there after you left." I said "Yeah" and mentioned I'd been there when Larry Large was President (if you think that sounds like a porn actor's name, you're not the only one since my classmates certainly joked about it on a regular basis including some of my sorority sisters; I wonder if there are any real porn actors named Larry Large).

He then went to speak at our event & basically, I got a very good impression of the guy. He struck me as being the opposite of Larry Large since he mentioned the school making in roads in the community and asking for money from people who could well afford to give it & were their "best friends." He also told me about how they did allow productions to film there (since I think I told him about having my entertainment company) & I mentioned how when I was there, I always heard about the school rejecting those offers.

Plus, having met & spoken to Larry Large as an undergrad I don't recall him being the sort of guy who'd just come up and talk to you at random like that. He also gave me more of a pretentious & unfriendly vibe.

From what I heard, it was like "I wish that had happened when I was there." For instance, now they've got a scholarship for kids who are the first in their families to go to college (totally would have helped me if it had been an option). There's no more racist frat. I hope the business community had some sway in that one since I know that as a business owner, I would be wary of helping a college that had the incidents this school did; I know my company would have said "no way" to helping the OU I graduated from in 2003 & I think many wouldn't want their name associated with such things, even in the South. You are talking about Atlanta, after all & that's a major city.

3. Other people felt the same way I did about the presence of that racist frat & other crap I saw. I told some folks about it since they were close in time to my graduation year & I did mention that I'd not been to any alumni events or given a dime to the school b/c I couldn't in good conscience. After all, I explained, my company was at one time minority owned & is woman owned (majority ownerships, you understand).

It seems a lot of other people hadn't been to alumni events either so glad it wasn't just me who'd been a long ago graduate who'd not bothered. A girl who'd graduated a few years after me told me it got worse & apparently one frat whose house my chapter got was also involved in some racially discriminatory stuff (though they'd not done that when I was at Oglethorpe & had always been nice to us; at that time, they were more known for their legendary parties).

4. It was kind of weird going to this one after having gone to so many lawyer & creative industry networking events. This one was definitely better than most lawyer networking events I've gone to. Now we'll just see if anyone writes back or reaches out to me. I gave out business cards (since they're the lawyer's MasterCard; you never leave home without them) & just had to put more in my bag for the start of NY Comic Con tomorrow.

So, even though I got into the LinkedIn alumni group of another school entirely at random (you could say they "adopted" me I guess though no one ever contacted me or asked me things from there) I feel I can claim Oglethorpe again. I still don't know exactly when the racist frat left but I do know it was probably after 2009 if Wikipedia can be trusted.

All in all, it was a pleasant surprise & we'll see how this whole thing plays out.

The Nursing CLE Event, an Interview & More Random People From the Past Bugging Me

As mentioned before, I went to a nursing conference recently on endometriosis. This actually took place at Lenox Hill hospital in their auditorium. Despite not being a nurse myself, I had a few reasons for going:

1. Networking (but to be fair, that's a reason for me to most things in life)
2. Comparing a medical CLE event to the numerous legal CLE events I've gone to, that thankfully I don't have to attend live if I don't want to at this point
3. Helping out a friend via accomplishing #1

After doing this, I had an interview for a story on my whole childfree experience. That publicity from Slate.com just keeps paying off in various ways. I wonder if that's also how random people from the past are coming out of the woodwork to contact me.

So, I went to this event & have some impressions:

A) These doctors & speakers were much better than many lawyers I've seen speak. First off, none of you are going to compare to Dr. Seckin's presentation where he had illustrations of his topic. People marveled at the production values he had. Very few attorneys could pull that off.

I also noticed more eye contact & sincere attempts to engage the audience. Another thing I've not seen often enough in presenters at legal CLEs.

B) I ordered the right food. Yes, you got a choice of lunch & I picked well since I liked my main course. The spread was nice & they posted signs telling you what items were. I thank that catering company for that. It's the first time I've seen that; some of us didn't live in households with very cosmopolitan menus so unless it's familiar to those folk, we won't tend to eat or try new things. Ironic that I'm not a foodie but I'm a Yelp Elite, isn't it? I know some of those folks are.

C) I didn't see younger nurses & I don't know what the custom is for them and business cards. No one gave me theirs so I didn't give mine. In some cases, I just didn't get the vibe to do it or feel that I was dealing with the right population. I'm trying to find the non-traditional, disaffected types.

For those who aren't aware, I do get vibes from people sometimes. I'm not great at it but I have gotten them before. When I don't get a good vibe or an open vibe, I'm not going to bother. That's just how I operate. I got that vibe big time from their celebrity spokesperson (not a big time person in case you were wondering).

As I've said before most people I've met in entertainment, even higher profile people, tend to be very nice if they hear you're a lawyer. This person didn't so believe me, that's going to be duly noted.

My sister wants to do nursing and all I can say after this is she'd better be darn good at science if she wants to be a success at it. I'm not sure if she is or what her feelings are on it.

After that, I had my interview & that went better save for this old lady in the restaurant who was remarking on my speaking. I hear her keep saying "She talks a lot!" (well, duh I was being interviewed so of course I was) & making other cracks as I'm doing the interview. When I came in, there was a lot of people but when we got to later in the interview, there were very few people.

I get asked one question after hearing this woman carrying on & in answering (and hearing her mutter again loudly) I mutter "Bitch" under my breath. My interviewer asked about it but figuring she may not have heard this bitchy woman, I didn't bring it up & just kept going in the interview.

After that, I didn't notice the bitch making more comments about me. She moved on to some gentlemen sitting to our left. I'm not sure if she was insane, if the restaurant knew about her or what the deal was.

I don't think going to the conference was a total waste (though I hate getting up early if I'm not getting paid for it) but I didn't really get to network & just didn't have much of a vibe. I figure if I do that sort of networking, I'd have to do just do it online through LinkedIn or something. However, I did observe that the way endometriosis is treated by many doctors & society is one example of the total disregard women are given in society. I also feel like at least the medical community is more concerned about people's day to day experiences & offering programs with information people can use when they walk out the door. I wish more CLEs had that; it feels like many of them don't have things I can use in my day to day life since I don't work in some mega-law firm or have a traditional job (note I didn't say "all"; I found training for Monday Night Law to be useful in day to day life).

I'd also like to see more programs talking about larger societal issues and perhaps teaming up with professionals in other communities & discussing the links between different areas. With many CLE courses you see in my field, you'd think lawyers exist in a vacuum or on an island someplace.

A few days ago, I get a LinkedIn connection request from someone I know. I approve it and then get another connection request from someone I know (or at least, know of). It's the director of alumni relations at my undergrad.

That came as a shock to me for a number of reasons:

1. I've told that office more than once that I would never give a general contribution to the school & spelled out exactly why. Part of it is that if I wanted to fund racism, I'd just give my money to the KKK instead of a pack of hypocrites who claim to be tolerant and accepting of all but kept protecting a racist frat that got them into the press with their antics & was reviled by a great many students there.

2. I told people who I did speak to from those days not to give out my contact information to the alumni office since I had no interest in giving them money. Everyone I talked to agreed to this condition, which got even more important after working with my film company.

Now I don't think anyone violated my trust but if they did, they'd regret it (as anyone who knows me would agree).

3. My name is different & I don't post personal pics of myself on social media. Nor do I use that old name in searches since it's not part of my identity and hasn't been in quite some time. That name has no connection to my legal identity; I've even referred to it as my slave name & won't answer to it.

Had I not gotten married, I would have paid money to change it once I had a good alternative.

After getting this random LinkedIn connection request and hearing about an upcoming alumni event in NYC, I decided I'd just be honest about my feelings toward my undergrad. To hell with anyone found what I had to say offensive or insulting or if it hurt their precious little feelings! My thought was (and has been) that if you're going to contact me after years & years, you're getting the same treatment you'd get if you were some random stranger who'd sent me a Facebook friend request. You're getting the real me, not some sanitized or artificial or PC version. Real me isn't going to censor herself or worry about offending you; real me is going to tell the truth & get her feelings off her chest.

That long lost relative who contacted me ages ago didn't get that my business requires me to watch my back & not be fully trusting of virtual strangers. If you don't get that, I can't explain it to you so I left that situation as is.

I got a response after writing this director, who informed me that the racist frat was no longer on their campus & that everyone has some bad experience at their undergrad (sorry, you won't be swaying me to give that school money after I managed to win in spite of what a rational person would see as the attempt to sabotage me & ruin my shot to live up to my potential).

She's the one who told me about the black sorority coming to campus; thank God they aren't having to deal with that. I would feel horrible for them having to try to get members while a totally racist frat is running around & probably subjecting them to total crap treatment. I may not agree with the concept of a racially separated sorority but from what I recall of the environment at the time for black folks, being a student there was no picnic & I think it would be wrong for some stranger to have to go through that.

After verifying that information on the frat's official website (since I vet everyone & everything as a matter of course), I decided I'd attend that alumni event on Monday. A former professor of mine (who is a LinkedIn connections) is supposed to be there.

In my message to this director, I also said I have no issue with talking to individuals or offering advice to alumni or new grads. You have to judge individuals on their own merits. I never mind requests for advice or informational interviews & have certainly done this for attorneys who wanted to work in the entertainment field. If you don't mind the unvarnished truth, I'll certainly give it to you if asked.

We'll see if those career advice articles that say try networking with your undergrad alumni network is valid for me or not. I hadn't really used that network since I don't live anywhere near my undergrad campus and only have a handful of people I deal with from that time; most of them are sorority sisters. Boy, if I meet that bitchy lawyer who told me I'd never make it, she'll be in for a shock. I'm not so sure she's around since I've never encountered her in nearly 5 years in the legal field & being at bar associations in Manhattan. Maybe I should try looking her up on LinkedIn since different name, different life.

That experience made me vow never to treat someone else that way. In short, she was a dream killing jerkwad who made assumptions about me & my life not to mention severely underestimating my hatred, disconnect & total square peg status with the South. I still remember her name & I mentioned this to the alumni director as well (yep, I discussed EVERYTHING I encountered that was bad though acknowledged that there were some good people around as well). I also wonder when this racist frat was booted off and what happened; as of 2009, I know they were still there so my moral outrage has been quite appropriate for years.

I'm also shocked that they finally let people film at the school; I remember it being a huge thing to deny folks that opportunity. Maybe some higher ups got a clue? Guess I'll see. The jury's still out on my feelings about that place or where it's going. Again, no general contributions but individual groups that helped me could get things from me when I had the means to do it.

If you spit on my giving advice or information, then I'm not into handing you money. Just a fact. To me, advice & information are free but useful if you haven't got the knowledge & savvy. Ask anyone who doesn't have a mentor & had to make a lot of mistakes on their own. Had they had someone to consult, they might have been able to save themselves from heartache & hassle.

Any smart person who hopes to get anywhere knows they aren't the foremost expert on everything & that they'd better keep learning if they want to get anywhere, especially from those who come around later on. They also know they won't live forever & aren't the start or end of a profession. I've felt this way forever, especially when I started out & was looking for guidance on things.

You know, there is one very good thing about those unresolved issues coming up from your past: you get the opportunity to get closure, speak out & put things to rest. Regardless of how things happen if someone reaches out to you, you've been given the power to embrace today & free yourself from some past, sanitized version of yourself. You get to say things you might have been afraid to say or felt you couldn't say in the past. If you're an adult, you get to stand on your own two feet & handle things your way.

Since I dealt with all this, it does feel like catharsis & weight off my shoulders. Time & distance can resolve conflicts you couldn't deal with or were too young for at the time. Plus, if I'm going to have to be in the public sphere I might as well confront things head on & not be a chicken.

Doing an extra gig on Tuesday where someone I know is the casting director (so it's more of an undercover boss kind of thing) & dealing with Comic Con on Thursday & Friday so my week's going to be eventful. Posts will be dealing with those individual experiences & believe me, you'll hear about any pricks I encounter at Comic Con (especially any big name types since I won't want to deal with them in my business or expose their shit to my colleagues).

General Musings, Part 29

Wow, haven't done this in a while. Some links I have for mini-rants are super old so I guess that means it's time to do another general musings post.

Got FiOS put in earlier this week for my phone & Internet after we'd been promised access to the service around 5 years ago. On Monday, I was having an antisocial mood & feeling depressed but managed to go to my first Monday Night Law session regardless. I think it went okay.

This past weekend, I went to a nurses conference on endometriosis. That's one aliment that's totally misunderstood & if you knew how it's treated by doctors/society in general, it's just yet another symptom in the utter disrespect and disregard for women that goes on daily in this country. Now I don't say this as some super man hater (anyone who knows me knows I'm certainly not one) but as fact of life. That experience will be mentioned in a different post.

I should also mention that I did an interview on Saturday after that on my experiences as a childfree woman. To support the contention that not every woman dreams of being a Mommy, read this. It should only be a shocker if you've been hardcore brainwashed by your religious upbringing or you're a total sexist moron (and you can indeed be a sexist without ever having a penis). Surprise, some of us have other ambitions in life! Sorry to those who now have to go without parents because their caregivers' heads have exploded from that revelation. I won't be taking care of you.

Also read this Dear Prudence letter about a family member trying to insert herself into her sister's reproductive choices. I'm glad most of the commenters told this woman to butt out. More people should be telling others to butt out.

Reading about this months back also disturbed me. Are there ANY standards for pharmacists to keep their licenses? Or have these states just not bothered to enforce them & just let these God bothering assholes impose their religious mores on the citizens of their communities?

It disturbs me to hear about any pharmacist playing God when it comes to contraceptive matters since if I did that, you can bet I'd have my law licensed swiped in about 3 seconds. You try not giving effective assistance of counsel to some client & claiming a divine right to do so because of your religious beliefs, even if that client was assigned to you by the court. Guess what? It wouldn't fly in the legal profession. They don't give a damn what you think or what you believe; as a lawyer, you're duty bound to HELP clients you choose to represent or that are assigned to you regardless. If you don't get out of that representation, you don't get to put your little pinhead beliefs ahead of some client's legal matter.

So if I'm held to those standards as a lawyer, does anyone care to explain why doctors & pharmacists get to play God with MY body? Why they get to outright lie to people & impose their will onto grown people like they will suffer ANY personal impact if some woman does or does not breed or get pregnant?

No, I absolutely do not think any of these pharmacists are truly ignorant on that law. It's been the law of the land for years that 17 year olds in the US can get Plan B; this is not new information. As for "oh, it was a lower level worker who didn't know?" Well, attorneys are liable for the conduct of their staff and paralegals; that means WE'D be in trouble for them violating ethics rules in our names & at our offices.

Don't pharmacists have the same liability for things their staffers do? If not, I think that ought to change.

I also wonder how this has been going. Again bothers me on many levels & more dealing with God botherers trying to impose their will onto adults.

I like that term: God botherer. My husband read it in a comic. It's apparently the British version of fundie. We decided to incorporate it into our vernacular when he first mentioned it to me a while back.

I also read this story & did not get why in the Hell you'd keep your seat if you had to sit next to some little kid that wasn't yours. How do you know that kid isn't going to be a total whiny brat? And why in God's name would you want to break up some married couple? They'd just talk or text to each other the whole flight anyway. I'd end up yelling to my husband so you'd never get any peace. Since you apparently now have to pay for this bullshit, I've just been given even more incentive to never fly unless it's on a private plane driven by a competent pilot.

Now for some more bravos to people with some sense:

* Now I'm not a fan of Clarence Thomas by any means (and I'm sure not a fan of his wife) but I do appreciate the fact that A) he's not some ostentatious jerkwad if you meet him on a plane if the young man who was sitting next to him on a flight can be believed & B) he made this statement about people who aren't from Ivy League Law schools. I wish more employers felt that way & actually DID something about it. Talk is cheap; action speaks volumes. I'm just glad someone else said it.

* Savannah Dietrich, who outed her rapists on social media. That just rocks & had to take courage. As a lawyer (though I don't handle criminal law), it doesn't sound to me like the judge was offering her any justice here. If it's a lie, they could sue for defamation of character. If that wouldn't be something worthy of a defamation suit, I can't imagine what would be. I've seen people get threatened with one for accusing people of far less than rape. As I recall, the judge didn't punish her for doing this since victims of all people should have the right to tell their own stories & keep the scumbags from doing it to others. I do not have sympathy for guilty people, which you can learn about if you read the link.

* Whitney Kropp. You may have heard of this story recently but if you haven't, she got elected to her school's Homecoming court as a prank (think Carrie White being on the ballot for Prom Queen in Carrie).

Little did her tormentors know that the entire community would rally behind her with retailers offering free services going toward this event & strangers on Facebook sending their well wishes. Her ultimate triumph was going out & getting applause from members of the opposing team and even pricks at this school.

Speaking from a position of former ugly girl, I believe the pricks at this school only applauded b/c of the egg on their faces. You have to wonder how many people there were her real friends vs. fame whores just trying to get attention. For a good reference, look at what happened to Muriel in Muriel's Wedding when she was getting married to a famous aspiring Olympic athlete from rich parents who was being covered in the press. At that time, she goes by Mariel. Her former friends who'd tormented her for years & are really shitty to her through the whole movie (there's a whole scene where they break up the friendship & proceed to assassinate her entire being) suddenly buddy up to her & serve as her bridesmaids. If you see this film, you'll know they're only in for the glory & because they are fame whores. They never give a damn about Muriel, to say the least.

By the time I was doing Homecoming, I was actually at a point where I was being treated with respect and getting cheers when I went out on stage. A true point of triumph at my school was if people started screaming out your name when you were on stage or being announced for something vs. just politely clapping. I got name screaming when I went out for Homecoming & let me tell you, that felt good to someone who'd been treated like shit by most of her classmates for years.

Lastly, a little lesson to those bullying shits (wherever you are): the kid you bully today will eventually school your sorry ass. You'll be stuck in some menial, common, boring existence where you're unhappy while the people you tormented will be doing far greater & awesome things. The people who grow out of this get it & later atone for their bullshit; the ones who don't continue to be sad & pathetic. In short, don't be a bullying asshole unless you want to grow up to be Al Bundy.

I was going to write more on this but I think I'll just finish up with some discussion on race (yes, again). I came across this story recently & apparently it's a huge uproar whenever any white person wants something separate yet it's okay in 2012 for minority groups to go have something separate.

Now, I'm not going back over what I've mentioned about my high school & experiences with racially segregated student union groups. I never asked about or attempted to join any that weren't of my particular classification so I have no idea whether the particular groups I dealt with were racist (mostly b/c I'm not much of a joiner, contrary to what one might think). I'd place bets that the Black Student Union at my undergrad probably would have been racist to me had I asked, though (especially with that whole leaving a gift for my new roommate & my getting nothing from nobody, setting the tone for my freshman year & leaving a horrid first impression). I mean, we had a group trying to get a black sorority onto campus called "Women Visualizing Unity" and I'll guarantee none of those leaders could have named even 3 members of my chapter! That pissed me off since I felt they were judging me, my sisters & my chapter without bothering to get to know us as people. I also felt my chapter was being neglected & it would get worse if that black sorority got onto our campus.

I hear they apparently have one there now & since my chapter's established now (and has a house), I feel a little better about that. If they are being racist (as my chapter never was when I was around & had better not be now), then I'd take issue but if they're not, cool.

Personally, if the minority groups are going to be racist to people who might actually care about or be sympathetic to their cause (regardless of if they are of that race or not) there probably should be a white group. Racism isn't just a white thing, folks! Anyone can be a racist. If you oppose it, you can't say it's okay to do it to white people or use that tired "white privilege" argument. You're either racist or you aren't & you have to apply the same standards to everyone. Oh, and I don't think "white privilege" exists if you're too low on the income scale.

Plus, I'm a natural redhead so I'm more of a minority than anyone. Don't lump me in with the "white people" because they don't like me either. A student union for natural redheads would be interesting but probably wouldn't work on most US college campuses. You'd have maybe 5 people if you were lucky. I think that one (at least any I started) would have to start welcoming other minorities as well since traditionally, we redheads have never had issues with other minorities. They actually understand us better than the "white people." Most of my friends weren't big on segregating themselves into groups like that anyway.

I think my mother would have been proud of my law school roommate for having that attitude about the Asian student groups we had there. She believes (and I do agree) that you should not cloister yourself off into groups of people like yourself since the world isn't just composed of those people. You have to deal with people who are different from you sooner or later. She also opposes all girls schools for the same reason.

Oh, and it seems the Supreme Court will soon be dealing with a case on affirmative action. I shared my various stories on the subject but if you want to, feel free. I never directly experienced it; it was just more of saying "Hey, poor white people exist & since you don't recognized me as a redhead and lump me in with them you need to be dealing with MY situation instead of assuming that b/c Ted Turner's daughter can afford to go here, I can as well!"

I'm not going into details on affirmative action here since I've discussed it enough (I'm the one who'd rather just kill the racists or at least get them out of positions of authority instead of punishing members of other groups for things they had nothing to do with to raise some members of another group up). I also believe people should consider class background instead of race; even friends of mine who came from more & were minorities themselves thought I made a good point on this. You'd definitely see different mindsets in institutes of higher learning if you get more poor kids, trust me. They'll make that place have diversity of thought & actually bring so-called different life experiences to the table.

Tending to a sick husband now & had a crazy couple days. Not fun. Now he needs to get on the computer.

Job Hunting Pet Peeves I Don't Think I Covered, DVD Censorship & Liberal Christians a.k.a.

Man, I have a TON of rants in me to write. I'll have to do another installment of appalling Craig's List ads soon, there's the upcoming trip to Comic Con, starting another year at Monday Night Law and general trying to catch up on things.

There's also been the recent plague of illness in my house & my husband's choosing to spend the day in our living room cloaked in darkness (and it was a sunny day). I can't do that during the day, even if I'm a little sick unless I got no sleep the night before. He had a headache but I can't function like that so I had to sit elsewhere & fire up the laptop.

From time to time, I do occasionally look into paying positions I see posted online that I might be qualified to do & aren't from mega-corporations. Oftentimes, I inquire about the job. I do this for multiple reasons:

A) My career, background & skills aren't typical. My film company work was set up specifically for me & my career ambitions. I also tended to get more work in things as a result of good service in jobs I had. Plus, if you put everything I've ever done or even have done recently in one resume, that resume would be a tome. No one would read it.

B) As a business owner, I'm all about efficiency. Even if I weren't one, I'm still concerned about it as a lawyer and steward of time. If you have a very competitive atmosphere, don't appreciate people's hard work & offer zero advancement or reward opportunities for good work, why do I want to bother dealing with you? If you require weekend work, why do I want to bother? If you engage in needless dog & pony shows and never tell anyone the truth, why would I want to bother?

C) I'm not the typical attorney & the typical legal environment is not for me. I also notice that people who claim not to offer these typical environments & want someone who isn't a typical stereotype are outright liars. Like anyone with a brain, I believe actions speak much louder than words.

I judge people & their businesses based on my interactions with them. You can even read here about businesses I thought did job searching well along with those who royally fuck it up. In fact, I start judging you when I read your ad.

If I see misspellings, you announce irrelevant information about a protected category, put in duties that lawyers don't actually perform or duties the person you're seeking to do can't legally perform them (like law students committing unauthorized practice of law) or you're asking for some very shitty job terms (like full time internships or $40K a year for a lawyer with 5 years experience & a demand to see a law school transcript), I will bypass you & may even ball you out for being a moron, an exploiter or God knows what else that's tarnishing MY name & MY field since you're purporting to represent it.

So when you have questions about an ad, don't you hate it when you ask questions & the person either doesn't bother giving answers or insists that you submit your resume & cover letter without knowing ANYTHING?

That outright pisses me off since I do explain why I'm asking questions.

Personally, I welcome people to ask me questions if they might not quite fit for a job my company posts. If you want to be paid for a non-paying position, I don't want you interviewing me & my CEO to then drop that on us when we're about to give you an offer.

I also don't want to send my materials someplace where they will just go in the garbage b/c the hiring person or HR rep is a small minded asshole who won't bother considering anyone with a legal license to do that particular role, even if they say they are not seeking a career there & don't mind doing it.

Nor am I working for a company that doesn't belong to me & isn't in the entertainment industry as an attorney for $35K a year. That is exploitation and sorry, not interested in being a slave to anyone. I usually ask for a salary range so I can get an idea of what the prospective employer's expectations are & list what I have made in the past to set a foundation for what will or won't be acceptable to me. If you can't meet that, lower your standards or find someone with less experience.

One is going to suffer: take your pick.

Unlike some people, I can take care of myself & don't need to be anyone's slave or victim. I didn't put up with that at my high school retail job so I sure won't do it when I'm about to hit the 5 year mark in admission to 2 states as a lawyer.

I also don't want to deal with yet another person who's going to pull a disappearing act. If you're not serious & can't commit to things, don't waste my time.

The reason I'm asking questions is to avoid wasting OUR time. That includes YOUR time. If you are too dumb to get this concept, then you have no business being an HR person or in any management position in a business. If you can't even say "I'll ask & get back to you," if you don't know the answer then you have shown me that your employer is probably a badly managed business I want nothing to do with.

If you're a CEO or head of the company & you do this, you have insured that I will stay far away from your business & warn people I know not to work with you since you have no concept of efficiency or time management.

Another huge pet peeve (particularly on Craig's List): demands to get MY resume and materials with MY personal information when the ad poster gives you ZERO information about themselves, not even listing a company name.

First off, slick, I have an increasing public profile. I'm on IMDB & last I checked, my LinkedIn profile was the first result when you Googled my name. I'm not a "Jane Smith" or someone with a super common name. There are significant safety & professional reasons for me not to give out my personal information to total strangers who I know NOTHING about.

If you're reading this blog for the first time, you should know that people in the entertainment industry DO get harassed by the general public. Not just actors but people who are higher ups in production companies or work in casting offices & other areas where random people will want to be your buddy b/c of your job. We don't want you asking us to read your script, audition your sister for acting work, meet famous people, or anything else that tends to come up when you work in this industry & random people find out about it.

There's also the more sinister side with stalkers & haters trying to stop people's careers, particularly for actors & anyone working in front of the camera.

You get information about me at MY leisure, not because you Googled me before ever talking to me. You might even find things that are illegal for you to consider in the hiring process.

Second, how is it fair to expect people to give you blood samples when you can't even give your company name in your ad for someone to research? There are scammers out there & lawyers especially have to watch out for them. It's about gotten to the point where I'll need to start asking to see financial reports before I work with an employer due to some of the experiences I've had. Even the appearance of shadiness is bad for a lawyer to work in, regardless of the employer.

I deserve the right to vet you just as you should get to vet me to verify what I say. If you refuse to give an equal exchange of information, I'm not dealing with you. How do I know YOU are legit & not just another scammer?

Some people could totally use a lesson in "treat others as you'd want to be treated." Would these chuckleheads give out their personal life stories to ads with zero information? Would they hand over all their details for some job they might not even find suitable for them due to salary, company fit, hours, unrealistic expectations, etc.? If you own a business & you wouldn't do this, then maybe you should NOT be expecting strangers to do such things.

I also heard that the next season of Tiny Toon Adventures is finally coming out but they've decided to leave off an episode where the characters were drinking to be cool & that was apparently aired only once. Apparently, Warner Bros has ignored the fact that the kids who watched this show are now ADULTS who can make their OWN choices on things & will most likely be buying this set instead of little kids who never saw it, never heard of it and very likely didn't watch it.

I feel like we should boycott the set in protest or complain about it someplace. Considering they've had plans for eons to release the Censored 11 (which I've talked about before), the same principles should apply here. Allegedly, people complained about that episode but who are we talking about? Old people who watched it ages ago? Parents who are too damn lazy to skip the episode or, gee, PARENT for a change & say "no" to their kids?

If kids have been exposed to online porn, Prince's '80s catalog, racially offensive cartoons in the '40s and '50s and even a Spike Lee movie or two, then why in the hell is Warner Bros censoring this DVD set that will be bought by adults?!?! You know, the people who have the disposable income to PAY for it. As I recall, I'm sure this set will be at least $30 if not more. That's not exactly easy money for a child to get & again, do these children pay rent or own their own homes? Do they not have PARENTS who would say "No you can't buy that," if they have an issue with this episode being included?

I hate the "we must protect the childrens" argument (misspelled on purpose) just as much as I hate the tradition argument. It's NOT my job or that of any entertainment company, performer or creative to shelter your little babies from real life. That's YOUR job, parents!

You notice the real parents never go around demanding this of creative types. It's time they & everyone else stood up to these breeding bullies & told them to shove it up their collective asses while perhaps getting Social Services involved to take those children out of such an abusive situation. Yes, expecting everyone else to parent for you is emotional abuse against your kids (that is neglect, after all) as well as little Hitler behavior that will probably get you taken out sooner or later when you piss off the wrong person. I think "unfit" is a perfect adjective for that kind of parent.

Lastly, meet some Christians who aren't assholes. Apparently, they are called liberal Christians. They also exist in one of the last places most of you would expect to find them: Oklahoma! Everyone describes that region as a bastion of intolerance, homophobia and right-wing Christian fundies who want to create the Christian Taliban in this country.

Guess those people would be wrong. Rev. Lance Schmitz & Faithful America sound like some good folks to deal with. Bravo, Reverend for calling the owners of Hobby Lobby on their bullshit.

In case you are not aware, Hobby Lobby is a crafts store owned by the Green family. The Green family is a pack of fundie Christians & we all know what fundie Christians are like; in case you don't, they're much like radical Muslims in their adherence to the concept of "my way or the highway." There's no room for moderation or fairness to people who are different with fundies; that's why they are "fundies," after all. Otherwise, they'd be moderates or mainstream Christians.

Hobby Lobby is suing the government over the Affordable Health Care Act, which means employers have to cover contraceptives. Their beef is that "it should not be forced to provide workers with health insurance that covers the morning-after and week-after pills." They claim covering this violates their religious beliefs.

The Green family apparently wishes to tell its employees how to live their personal lives & force any females working there to carry babies they don't want. This Rev. Schmitz said that not only should these assholes not get to use religion to deny women access to birth control but that they need to stay out of women's reproductive decisions since the issue is about contraceptives, not abortion as the fundies claim they are.

Look, fundies & anti-choicers: you lose all credibility with me and any rational thinking person when you dare to ban access to contraceptives while also banning abortion & cutting welfare. You get one or the other. You are NOT going to stop people from having sex & if you think you get to tell ME what to do, then you will be in for a bloody, vicious and no holds barred fight. Just as YOU have the right to wait until you get married to have sex or use it only when you want to have babies, I also have the right to do what I want to in my own life & make my own decisions free from you assholes telling ME what to do.

Do you hear me or anyone else who is pro-choice telling YOU to get an abortion? Are any of us telling YOU to have sex or when to have it? Until you do, you DON'T get to use your religious beliefs to order me around! Beliefs, I might add, that I DO NOT share, support or give any credence to. If I'm not telling you as a grown up what to do, then you don't get to tell me what to do either.

Otherwise, you'd better be ready to go back to the days when women were property, couldn't enter into legally valid contracts (meaning no more student loan obligations from women) & men were liable for anything their women did i.e. wives & daughters. You DO know what they say about there being nothing worse than a scorned woman, don't you?

I think their lawyer is totally lying when he says his clients aren't trying to suppress women or respect the beliefs of people who are different. Classic CYA stuff since they know if they admit to being medieval cretins, people will slam them. If there was one of these stores in my area, I would totally boycott. Heck you could probably also find this family's information & tell them off on this as you want.

How is this different from Chick-Fil-A, you may ask? Well, in the Chick-Fil-A situation the owner wasn't trying to deny insurance coverage or rights to gay employees nor denying them jobs or telling them to harass gay patrons. If they were doing that, as I said before, it would be a different story.

So, see not all Christians are jerks or micromanaging assholes. I told you so! The parishioners of this pastor's church should be proud since he is exemplifying true Christianity & I'll bet would make sure anyone who came to his church, regardless of race, orientation or beliefs, feel welcome. If more Christians were like these folks, we'd have fewer problems in the world. I'm glad more are standing up to the intolerant fundies who make religion look awful.

Tradition for Tradition's Sake: How Stupid!

So you've read about how my husband has a faux union, right? If you haven't, well pretty much any employee who works for NYC except maybe the MTA has a faux union (as I learned recently). He told me that when this union next had a meeting, he'd be showing up.

No sooner than he gets notification of it (which is incredibly short notice in lawyer/film exec land) being next week that he decides not to go.

Here's where I think there's some conspiracy here: it's at 7:45 p.m. at an area of NYC that is in a transit dead zone. You have to take 2 buses from the nearest subway stop in Flushing to get to the location. I've spoken before in this blog about how I feel the location of this meeting is a deliberate attempt to avoid accountability to the membership for the shitty behavior this union engages in (that is, ZERO advocacy).

Are we aware that ALL the librarians are now forced to work until 7 p.m.? Oh, and it takes 1 hour & 12 minutes to get there from my neighborhood where there are 2 library branches.

My husband pointed out this time issue in the private union social media area where some hot shot claimed that 7:45 meant 8 p.m. I want him to point out to this pinhead that it doesn't do shit for the people working at these 2 libraries in my neighborhood. That tells me that they're trying to freeze out the majority of people in this system.

Maybe some of my husband's co-workers are weak willed, spineless & stupid (in fact, I know some of them fit one or more of these categories as one of them was stupid enough to think she could try & censor ME of all people; don't think you won't be getting yours, Little Bitch). But guess what? I'm NOT stupid! My husband isn't stupid either. Nor are a good chunk of his co-workers, some of whom aren't little bitches to the system.

I asked my husband why he's nice to these fuckers who are supposed to be his "representatives." He doesn't work for them! They are not his bosses! They work FOR him & all his co-workers. They need to stop rolling over & be effective advocates. I swear, if I encountered them as a business owner I would laugh my ass off. I told my husband that I will happily pay money to someone in this faux union to get in their faces & not back down.

One justification these people offered for keeping the no strike clause was "tradition," claiming some of the clauses have been in the contract since the '60s.

Well, you know slavery was legal for hundreds of years as well. Should we bring THAT back? How about exempting members of Congress from insider trading laws? The lack of stock market regulation before the stock market crash that caused the Great Depression? What about continuing to deny marriage rights to gay people or having no regulation on our foods? Maybe we should also bring back child labor since that was tradition for centuries before modern times!

Tradition is the shittiest argument for doing anything, if you ask me. Using "tradition" as your argument for doing something or not doing it just means "I'm too much of a lazy & fat fuck to do this differently. I'm also too small minded to bother giving your idea any speck of credence, even though you're probably right."

Just because something is a tradition doesn't mean it's right, fair, useful or efficient. Times change, people change, communities change. Some "traditions" should be extinguished permanently. We don't have afternoon tea anymore, do we? Women aren't property & we don't have segregated bathrooms anymore.

Don't tell me you do something because of tradition. Tell me you do it out of respect or because a policy is sound, efficient, etc. I'm sure if you were alive during segregation you'd have been an anti-integrationist since integration was violating tradition. We can't have that! Oh, God forbid your stupid tradition isn't allowed to be used as an excuse to engage in hate crimes.

Whaa, whaa! Look how sympathetic I am to you & your "tradition." Nope, I'm not a religious follower in case you really wondered. Growing up in a religious family & seeing hypocrisy all the time tends to disillusion you from religion. Working with a would-be lobbyist who is trying to get clergy members to help him who tells you he has to engage in legalized bribery to get them to do anything instead of them being willing to do anything b/c it's "right" or the "Christian" thing to do hardens that cynicism.

If anything, people like Romney or Ryan or Akin are doing more to create atheists & agnostics than any atheist or agnostic leader ever could. I'm sure they're also helping build the ranks of the Satanists, pagans and followers of other religions the Christians hate.

The next time Todd Akin says something stupid, I'm tempted to mail a tube of super glue to his offices & enclosing a note suggesting he use that on his lips since they look so dull on TV. This happened on a episode of Designing Women with Susanne gluing her lips shut to where she couldn't talk. How I wish it would happen to him and all the other nutjobs that have taken over the Republican party.

Speaking of other stupid traditions, it's very fucking stupid to only vote for the white guy because all the other presidents have been white guys. If you're voting for people based on this, why don't you at least vote for the best looking white guy? What attractive ones have been there other than JFK? I mean, a good contingent of the population doesn't vote with their brains or based on a candidate's intelligence (if they did, people like Akin would never be in public office) so why aren't they voting for the pretty boys?!

If I ever got thrust into politics in some way (since I have gotten thrust into many things in my time since I opened my mouth to object to something or point out the shortcomings so why should politics be any different), I would go toe to toe with any of my so called "prettiest" local representatives. I know I could win that contest hands down. I'd also want to win the "loudest, scariest bitch" contest. That would be one I'd wear with pride & let's face it, you're not going to beat a natural redhead at that one.

Oh, and another time "tradition" is used as an argument to do something? Fraternity & sorority hazing. Do we find that acceptable? How many news stories do you see & hear about how horrible it is? How many TV movies have portrayed the evils of Greek life with hazing as a starring role or outspoken co-star?

My chapter didn't do it. Let's face it: if they had I & most of the members would have left and I'd have ended up doing bad things to any tormentor; I tend to be vindictive & hold grudges that last a lifetime. I also go for the jugular so think of messing with me like you would messing with a tiger or other wild animal that kills humans.

So, in sum if you're in favor of doing something because it's "tradition" then you must also favor hazing, slavery, no rights for women, no food safety standards & child labor. After all, a tradition is a tradition is a tradition. If you don't examine your own for rational purpose when someone suggests change, then you are at best an idiot & at worst an animal who should be put down with some well placed bullets.

So What's Stopping You?

This is what I've asked myself lately. In particular, I've asked myself that when it comes to a paying day gig.

My husband got me into the show Bar Rescue. For those who haven't seen it, it's about this guy named Jon Taffer who comes in and attempts to save failing bars on the brink of closing. I like his no-nonsense, no bullshit attitude. It's much like mine. Some of the owners & people you see him deal with on this show are something else.

They went to one restaurant (the pirate one) whose staff reminded me of how some of my husband's acquaintances would run a restaurant if they had the money to get one. They're hard core gamers: live action, going to conventions, the whole nine yards. I see them having a similar disregard for business concerns & customers to their establishment. The pirate people were extremely hard core in the whole pirate thing & dismissive of customer wishes or concerns.

My husband actually took the extra step of reading Yelp reviews on the places featured on this show. Apparently, many of them went back to their old ways & the owners didn't learn shit. Many of the businesses are now listed as "closed."

This sort of thing pisses me off since if I had the means to have my own restaurant/hospitality business, I'd do a far better job than these assholes who apparently have more money or more pride than common sense. In the most recent episode (sorry if I'm spoiling things for anyone), the owner actually rehired a manager who admitted on camera to stealing from him!

What the fuck is wrong with you if you would rehire a thief? If I'd been that owner, I'd have called the cops on that guy immediately & had him blackballed from my industry. This after my husband got done breaking the thief's hand or making him miserable in some other way. If you did that in the entertainment business, I guarantee you'd get blackballed.

If you did that as a lawyer, you'd be disbarred & maybe even sent to jail for embezzlement.

I've also noticed lately job ads where companies were seeking writers and the like. I looked at the profile of one start-up owner & he's got a JD. If feels like a lot of businesses are started by lawyers. I saw a wingwoman company, a writing start-up, all sorts of things.

So if all these lawyers & JDs can start these non-legal businesses, I ask myself this post's title. I think pretty much any unemployed lawyer should ask themselves the same question.

I think with me, it's more trying to have my current business get funding. And you know what? If my business had funding, we'd do a far better job in our affairs than many of these dumbass owners. We sure wouldn't be harboring thieves or letting our employees be disrespectful to people coming in to help us (as an ex-bartender at this restaurant was to Jon Taffer without anyone telling her to shut up; I'm glad Jon Taffer pretty much did what I would have done in the same situation). Since that's my dream & my passion, it's not hard for me to stick with it. More people are even viewing it as a viable business. I even got a professional pass to this year's Comic Con in NYC (which I'll be doing a post on when I go since it will be my first time going) & am getting a custom shirt with my company's logo to wear for a day of it (my husband's idea; he's getting one as well).

My concern is finding a way to use my skills & talents to get a paying day gig that I get some autonomy in. It's more like needing to not only know what I want to do but how to execute it without spending money & where I can make money.

Just so you know, if you're a lawyer you have much more knowledge than you think you do. If you worked in customer service for a bunch of years, you know more than you think. If you had a nightmare job, you know how not to treat people.

I started at my company having no knowledge of what I was doing so I believe anyone who's gotten a law license can learn new things. We have technology & the Internet today; if you're smart & motivated, you can do lots of things. As a friend of mine would say "No excuses!" I say "No bullshit!" You have to live your own life & if you're going to be miserable, you will be the person who suffers most from that one. YOU have to live inside your own head; I don't.

Oh, and if some employer is too stupid to get that concept then they don't deserve your time, blood, sweat or talent. However, I do like this CEO's sentiment and back it up 100%. I have never objected to profiting off the stupidity of others. Hell, many industries wouldn't exist if someone wasn't profiting off consumers' stupidity. Who'd ever buy a luxury brand product? Who'd pay crazy prices for drinks in a bar? Who would buy artwork? As long as nothing illegal is going on, business owners shouldn't feel any qualms about taking money from stupid people. As a matter of fact, I'd like to see Edina Monsoon's (of Absolutely Fabulous) taxing suggestion come into play: "How about a stupidity tax?! Just tax the stupid people!" It would save me & many people I know a fortune.

Don't Eat Before Going on A Chocolate Tour, Educating New Lawyers & Other Musings

Oh, who the hell am I kidding. This entire blog is my musings! These are just going to cover more of what I've done recently.

First off, my book review for Hello Kitty Must Die was just published in the latest NYCLA newsletter (the New York County Lawyer). Go to page 14 to read it. That whole nearly missing my train did actually happen when I was reading this book. I was reading the book as my train had stopped & realized that we were at the stop I needed to get off at to catch my next train. It was one of those "Oh, shit" moments though I could have gotten to my stop if I'd missed that one. It just would have been more annoying to get to that freelance gig. I was actually early in the book when that happened.

Oh, and what you're thinking is happening in the first chapter is totally happening. That reference will either fly right over your head or make you laugh your ass off like I did after writing it. I like to think this particular selection for a book review is unique since it's not the sort of book that only lawyers would want to read. It also is anything but bland or boring.

Perhaps this is yet another example of why I should not teach since I'd be making things interesting by picking the books where sex, violence, all the "forbidden" but captivating stuff happens. I believe history & many things in general come alive if you can relate them to people's real life, day to day experience. I know I was never interested in classes or discussions that didn't have some of the zeitgeist of today in them. Translation: make things relate to ME & my life if you want me to care about your subject. Passion also never hurts.

Speaking of passion, I went to the law student's welcoming reception yesterday at City Bar in an official capacity. Apparently despite my doing nothing for the ending of my term in the Entertainment Committee this year, I'm still on the membership roster. My purpose in going was to be honest & show that City Bar is not a place where stuffiness has to rule. It may be the majority opinion but that's not to say you can't make bar associations fit you if you aren't the stereotype. If I've managed to get some acceptance with these bar associations & make them fit ME, what's to stop anyone else from doing the same thing?

After all, I got thrown into the mix by nomination; I didn't seek things out so I do have a legit argument for demanding acceptance for who I am.

It seems my approach was a good one since I had law students & grads talking to me and asking me insightful questions. I was honest since first off, I'm not a shill & if you want me to be one you'll have to pay me and I'll have to at least be neutral about your cause. If I'm violently opposed to your cause/purpose/mission, there's not enough money in the world for me to lie about it. You can at best buy my silence but that does not make a good shill. I also noticed people walking up to me as I spoke to one or two people; maybe I was that interesting?

Second, a friend of mine is forming a new bar association & I did see some disaffected folk. I made a specific mention to one person who approached me & totally struck me as just the sort of person we could appeal to.

Third, I told people things I'd have liked to know when I came in as a new lawyer. I really didn't have mentoring & still feel like the only mentoring I'm really going to get will be through my own methods via committee (since I've never met one person who's doing every single thing I'm doing & has the same status with folk).

Finally, I'm just not a liar. I would hate someone doing that to me so I believe in not lying to folk who didn't start trouble or cause problems with me. Those people deserve the benefit of the doubt & my honesty.

For my own committee, I touted networking since that's something I've found useful. When you're one of the youngest members someplace & you're asked about an attorney in an area different from yours while in a committee with many established attorneys (way more established than you) who are in those different areas, you can start seeking referrals. I've even referred people from this committee when asked about an area that I knew someone in the committee did. Because of them being in the committee & my mostly dealing with creative types, I figure the folk I recommend are at least receptive to creative people and won't be assholes to them.

Point blank, if I like you & remember you for a certain area that comes up in conversation you're likely to get a potential client from me. I've done this for Twitter followers as well so if you follow me on Twitter & are tolerant of my views (or at least my 1st Amendment right to speak), that puts you ahead in my book. Being an ass to me means you won't be getting a referral & I'll steer folk away from you if it comes up in conversation.

I figured the networking angle would be effective since the people being there obviously had some interest in it, everyone wants to network (at least if you've got a brain, you do) & newer attorneys definitely need to be doing it. If you're a business owner, you absolutely must do it or get a partner who is willing to do it or you're going to fail. Even the established ones have to adapt with the times, have backups for if people retire, die, etc. Contacts also come in handy for vetting (which you do a lot of in entertainment).

Plus, I like the fact that being on that committee is an informal means to meet people & earn their respect without having to be a Rhodes Scholar on an issue.

Today, I had that make-up day for the chocolate tour. Oh, my God! It was worth it. It was through Celebrity Planet & this thing is typically booked through forever & a day but last week's tour guide was kind enough to reschedule me for a close date.

A big part of this tour is samples & getting desserts from places you'd normally have to wait in long lines for (such as Magnolia Bakery, which is apparently well know from Sex & the City; I watched it with my former friend in NC in blocks & couldn't tell you what episode anything in NYC was featured since I had to forget things from there to do writing, not to mention the whole negative association with the former friend).

Normally, this tour is $50 per person but I got a discounted rate through Living Social (you've got to love those deal websites when the vendor takes the voucher & isn't a dick). Deal websites = a frugal person's best friend.

As part of the tour, you get chocolate samples & dessert samples. We were getting free cupcakes from Magnolia & figured they might be tiny, specifically smaller samples than what you'd normally get.

Oh, no. These were HUGE, FULL cupcakes. Chocolate with chocolate buttercream icing. They were good. No, not just good. Incredibly fucking good!! However, eating my cupcake did make me full. We also got free cookies at Milk & Cookies (again expected a small portion). Nope, we got still warm double chocolate chip cookies that were also incredibly fucking good. I had to eat mine gradually as we were going to the next stop.

After that, it became the pig tour for me. Also got the best cannoli in NYC (literally, this bakery's chef beat Bobby Flay in a cooking throw down). You can find this at Pasticceria Bruno in the Village.

On top of chocolate pieces from super fancy chocolate (and we're talking quality, meaning it's very filling), I'm still full as I write this at 10 at night. Only a little hunger is peeking through. Imagine if I'd gone last week after eating lunch before hand. I'd have died & the experience would have been wasted on me.

We also got a special bonus in our tour: while at a different site, we met a woman who's family owned the space downstairs. Since we were on the tour & had lots of samples of sea salt chocolate (which I also like & our tour guide said she could have some), she offered to give us a tour to the backyard gardens in the building. I took pictures & our tour guide said it was the first time he's ever gotten to see any. The steps are just very narrow & I had to watch my head to get down there. Getting that glimpse of old NYC was a great added highlight.

While on this tour, I also got a flyer for yet another sample sale right in Soho so after the tour ended I stopped by there. I saw one item I'm a maybe on since I actually could use it but I'm not wild about the price (less than $100) & don't know if it's something I ought to go for or not. I asked the sales person how long they were going to be there but she didn't know. I tried on some things to try & get my size in Calvin Klein so I'd know for ordering purposes (apparently, I'm also a 2 there).

This was actually my first food tour ever & my first walking tour. Some great hints for tours:

1. They aren't just for tourists. Most of my group lived in NYC, Jersey or the surrounding area. I wasn't aware of some of these places so now I have resources to get food or find recommendations for others. I collected business cards so I would remember addresses though I'm also going to write online reviews (since I had the food, I can technically do that).

2. You probably won't enjoy a chocolate tour unless you're a chocoholic or at least the type who can't have too much chocolate in life. I might not be able to eat tons of chocolate in a sitting but I don't think I'd ever get sick of it & never want to see it again. After all, I'm a former Godiva employee & didn't get sick of chocolate after working there. Nor did I get fat from it; I think my weight stayed the same.

3. Don't eat before you go!!! My stomach was growling but I had a few Wheat Thins before leaving the house. This was just the right amount of food & that was as I was rushing out to try to get to the train so I wouldn't miss the rescheduled tour.

4. Wear your comfortable shoes if it's a walking tour. We did a lot of walking & I am definitely feeling it still.

5. Finally, if it's sunny out & you're in the sun wear some sunblock (especially if you burn like I do). That probably saved me from killer sunburn today.

I definitely feel like I got my money's worth here. Go if you can.