Friday, February 13, 2015

Extortion Disguised As Politeness: Fuck You & Fuck You Too!!

I'm not sure if this is just a NYC thing or if it's a US thing or something that just happens everywhere. You're walking someplace & about to walk into the door of a building. There's someone in front of you going in who holds the door open. As you walk in, they loudly & nastily say "You're welcome."

Holding a door for someone is polite. Holding a door for an attractive woman if you are a guy is appreciated & that woman will think you're a chivalrous bastard (I use the term playfully here). Played properly, you might even be able to use that to meet this woman and go do wild, nasty things with her. Just depends on your personality and how confident you are in your meeting new people techniques.

But saying "You're welcome" loudly? That just makes you an extortionist scumbag. No one wanted or asked for your insincere politeness in the first place. I sure didn't ask you for any fucking favors. New York City folks have things to do, places to go, people to see & will damn well get there with or without your white knighting.

Encountered a guy waiting around this morning & held a door open for me so I could get through. When I'd not even fully gotten through that door, he goes "You're welcome" in this nasty tone. I go "Thank you" and then yell "That's not how chivalry works!"

I think the proper response to this should be "Thanks, asshole." Believe I will be remembering to do that next time.

What is the deal with this? Seriously. Do you need the "thank you" THAT badly? Can you be polite & a kind, conscientious citizen without having to get praised? Are you one of those special snowflake kids who needs a trophy even if he fumbles the ball, misses the goal or just completely fucks up in a sporting event b/c you "tried?" Or maybe you're the type of asshole who performs a good deed and then expects the person to be your slave or roll out a red carpet and kiss your toes, ass, ring, whatever anytime you walk out the door & insisting you are the best person to be born since Mother Teresa or some other great luminary the common people wouldn't dare disparage.

I hate, HATE people who do a good deed only b/c they want praise, adoration, a "thank you" or anything else other than the good feeling they should have by doing it. Holding the door open is not pulling my unconscious body out of a fire. It is not akin to representing me pro bono in my contested divorce or accidentially maiming the 10 people I hate most on this planet (just a random number; I'm sure I could come up with a list of people I hate most & why they deserve it but too busy with other things right now). It is not handing me millions of dollars tax free or getting me a lifetime supply of chocolate or even giving me 10+ orgasms in one night.

Nor is it akin to giving me a mansion on a tropical island that is now owned by me or getting me a staring role in a Hollywood feature film or killing all of the scummy lawyers who lie about giving a damn about people when they really just care about your net worth & the size of your paycheck. Yes, I'm about at the point where I say "Fuck all of you" with respect to attorneys who aren't my friends or who have shown me they give a damn about me the person.

Peforming a basic act of common courtesy does not make you Jesus. If you think it does, then don't bother. If you are performing such an act just for the praise, adoration of your peers, to impress dates, that kind of thing don't bother. That attitude is a huge reason I hate asking for favors from people; they act like they should be martyred & I should build a statue of their likeness so I can throw myself prostrate at it the second I wake up every single morning.

I consider this a form of extortion. You are told to say "thank you" for such acts & when someone isn't being a passive aggressive douchebag in performing common courtesy, chances are I will thank them or nod or something. But if I am preoccupied, listening to my music or who knows what, don't think saying "you're welcome" to me in a snotty tone is going to motivate me to give a damn about you. Do that to the wrong person & you could get shot sometime. Or maybe you'll get attacked. You ever think about that, hot shot?

I wonder if this just a NYC thing or if it happens in parts of the South or places where citizens are more likely to be carrying guns. I learned in my college Intro to Sociology class that Southerners on a whole are more aggressive & more likely to shoot you for offenses like harming a family member and the like. Perhaps this is my Southern upbringing showing?

I LOVE the chivalry. Men, take note: being chivalrous is a turn ON. Only insecure bitches & angry feminists who have mental issues get offended by a man being polite, chivalrous, all that good stuff. Those aren't the people sane, rational folk want to spend time with or have quality relationships with. If you are one of them, seek help.

Being an asshole is NOT, contrary to what Family Guy might tell you, a turn on for women you want to be involved with. Immature bitches with self-esteem problems might be okay with it but women getting out of bad marriages who have seen and dealt with things most people haven't at a young age just think you're immature, a bad person, maybe even a taker in bed.

Today is actually an auspicious day for me though at least I know this Valentine's Day will be better. No dealing with a jerky spouse who declares he "has no Valentine." My plans are secret, lest prying eyes want to spy on me or use my superiority against me in the divorce. I have to remember that Tina Turner got nothing in her divorce from Ike except her name & she had 4 kids to take care of along with being physically abused by him for years. She ended up doing better without him, as those of us familiar with basic pop culture know. If she could do that, why not me?

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