The Surreal Adventures of The Angry Redheaded Lawyer: "The Fight" by Jonathan Leaf at The Storm Theater Company

Jonathan Leaf's “The Fight” takes us on a journey with one Caitlin Schultz (Laura Bozzone) who is writing a doctoral thesis and a book on the feminist movement, particularly second wave feminism. She is seeking the answer to the question “What happened in Houston?” Doris Margolies (Judith Hawking) was all set to become the leader of the National Women's Political Caucus when suddenly, votes cast for her were simply not counted. Doris contends that Phyllis Feinberg (Fleur Alys Dobbins) along with a number of other women in the movement such as Bella Abzug were trying to kick her out of the feminist movement while Phyllis considers Doris a crazy, paranoid woman out of touch with the movement's brand of feminism. Per Caitlin, this is a story that hasn't been told and Caitlin is anxious to learn it. As we go on this journey alongside Caitlin with the narration of Doris and Phyllis, various parallels to the 2016 DNC primaries (the Sanders situation in particular) and the nuances of feminism (classic vs. third wave feminism) presented themselves.

Doris and Phyllis are formidable women in their own spheres, with Doris as our humorous straight shooter who lays it right out there contrasting with Phyllis's smooth, refined, cool subtlety. Doris considers Phyllis a hypocrite as well as a “phony” in her feminism since Phyllis had an abortion when she was young and solicited her millionaire boyfriend to save her women's magazine when it was in financial trouble. Phyllis is also the “fashionable” one and presumably better looking.

Meanwhile, Phyllis sees Doris as a stodgy, loud and out of touch liability to the feminist movement due to Doris's hostility towards lesbians, refusal to talk about minorities or welfare, continuing in a physically abusive marriage and elevating motherhood while looking down on women like Phyllis for shunning motherhood/traditional marriage. Caitlin herself seems caught in the middle as she reveals that she herself had some same sex relationships to Doris.

Fleur Alys Dobbins, Laura Bozzone & Judith Hawking. Photo Credit: Michael Abrams

However, Doris doesn't belittle or insult Caitlin for this as she says she was never against lesbians or bisexuals but simply wanted the movement to be mainstream vs. a fringe movement nobody cared about due to societal attitudes in those days about gays and lesbians. She also reveals being uncomfortable around lesbians in that time, presumably because of being a traditionalist and not accustomed to that population.

Doris explains to Caitlin why Phyllis is the way she is and Phyllis eventually tells Caitlin just what happened in Houston.

Both Doris and Phyllis were very well developed, complex characters whom I could see a little of myself in: Doris for her admission of hitting her abusive husband back when he hit her and Phyllis for her fear of having a family due to the wreckage of her home life caused by her mother's mental condition. Their relationship felt like the typical clash of women where the traditional homemakers are battling against the career minded, the attractive are battling against the average or ugly, the mothers are battling against the childfree, etc. It was complicated and littered with shades of gray; they weren't friends or enemies or frenemies. Perhaps there is no one word description to describe the relationship between Doris and Phyllis.

Fleur Alys Dobbins & Judith Hawking. Photo Credit: Michael Abrams

I had an interesting time trying to locate Grand Hall; a kind Asian guy outside the church where the theater is located directed me on how to get in (which I likely wouldn't have figured out without help since there is some maneuvering to get there). Once I did & learned that I was indeed in the right place, I discovered a space that was wonderful. It reminded me of a field trip I took to the Stevens Center in middle school. It was a space that was devoid of pretension but still very professional. It felt like a historic venue with character and intimacy where the acoustics were great, a space tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the NYC streets. The intermission and pre-show soundtrack was very fitting and clever in it's presentation (a series of girl power and 60's girl group anthems).

The costuming was wonderful, especially when Doris and Phyllis led us on scenes taking place in the past. It was impressive how Ms. Dobbins in particular looked so young when she was speaking with Stanley (Matthew Provenza) about her pregnancy. She absolutely conveyed youthfulness in that scene.

Fleur Alys Dobbins & Matthew Provenza. Photo Credit: Michael Abrams

Our male characters (Mr. Provenza and Mark Quiles), consisting of various male figures in the lives of Doris and Phyllis were also good in their roles but the absolute standouts here were the ladies as this was their story.

You could also feel Caitlin's discomfort at times when she was interviewing Doris. It felt like Doris was poking into places Caitlin didn't exactly feel comfortable going to such as her revelation of prior lesbian relationships.

Of course, I can't convey enough praise for Ms. Hawking who played Doris. She definitely had an appeal and empathy from the audience with a lot of laughter after her lines.

This show, without question, is relevant to our times and perhaps even more relevant in light of the recent sex scandals concerning Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, et. al. I personally deal with plenty of those issues in my career and have had to block my fair share of cretins who seem to think this model is a bimbo who is clueless as to her legal rights or when someone is not interested in a business discussion. Jonathan Leaf conveys the nuances of female relationships and this experience of feminism in a truthful, engaging and enlightening way. I highly recommend this show and this venue.

Women's Equality: It's Not Just for the Old and the Ugly

So, my views on feminism are extremely nuanced and after reading a story on LinkedIn a few days ago I definitely think some words need to be said.

A young, attractive looking woman recounts her recent experience of being fired from her admin job the very same day she started there despite making effort to learn the job, having lunch with the boss and doing nothing wrong except existing on the planet. The male boss hands her a check at the end of the day, saying "I didn't tell my wife I was hiring for this role." I along with some other commenters suspected this woman was the victim of a jealous wife and her insecurities. Worse, others talked about how this was commonplace in the work force (particularly in closely held private companies) or personally experienced that themselves in these our modern times.

So, as a woman who went from married to divorced and ugly to pretty by society as well as a business owner who dealt with the HR end in a company, I have a few choice words to say about this situation:

1. These wives should have ZERO hire/fire authority in a business. There is a little thing called gender discrimination, which is a state & federally protected category. Who knows what these harpies said to these women or what they heard from the male boss or anyone else in the company that could subject the place to a deserved lawsuit or EEOC complaint? If you can't run a business separate from your insecurities and mental issues, you should not be in an HR leadership role.

Instead, these crones need to seek counseling, perhaps even take their husbands to couples/marital counseling. They need to be asking themselves why they wish to stay in a marriage with a man they have so little trust in. Why in the hell do you want to subject yourself to that aggravation and harassment in the name of a "marriage?" Children see that stuff & they'll just learn Mommy is a jealous bitch or think it's okay to treat attractive women like garbage or that marriage is all about controlling men instead of a mutual, loving relationship where those two people have each other's backs no matter what. That's what I would have picked up from that. Do these women hassle their attractive teenage and 20 something daughters for their looks?

2. These men do not need to have businesses since they don't have any balls, which leadership requires. It doesn't work if you're running to your mommy or your wife every 5 seconds for every little decision. See #1 if your wife refuses to behave like a mature grown up and recognize that attractive women have the right to gainful employment and not be looked upon as scum for doing nothing more than existing on the planet. Also, if men are that unhappy with their wives they need to seek out a divorce instead of cheating on them or enabling their insecurities.

3. Who wants to bet these same wives are Clinton supporters and claim to be feminists and "pro-women?" Plenty of women backing Clinton claimed that women who didn't vote for her were traitors to the gender. But look how Hillary treated the women who said her husband sexually abused them? Was SHE in any way being "pro-woman?" NO!!!!!!!!!! That along with her stealing the nomination from Sanders and thinking it was a coronation convinced me she was not worthy of my vote.

Newsflash, harpies: if you're pro-woman, that means you support ALL women. That includes women who are younger and more attractive than you. It includes women who disagree with you. If you're okay with bashing and harassing some woman for being better looking than you, then you aren't a feminist. That makes you a hypocrite along with a harpy, a crone, anything else negative we can think of including jealous and insecure. Another newsflash: it takes TWO to tango. Where is your rage at the guy harassing such a woman? Why are you blaming some woman's mere existence when it could easily be a different one tomorrow? Being an asshole to someone who's better looking doesn't make you a saint nor a hero.

Do you want to fit the guy for a chastity belt or shouldn't you grow the fuck up, get some self-confidence and be content with who YOU are? That's why you need counseling. Confident people don't have to knock others down to lift themselves up. They actually TRUST their spouses and boyfriends and react to cheating with "nobody's stopping you from walking out that door but you'd better not try coming back since I won't have you."

What would these wives do if some attractive sales person or business development person from a potential client's office walks in trying to solicit business from that company? What if she's from a company that could make that business tons of money? Are we going to let jealous harpies dictate these decisions? Is she going to have the husband call up the client company and say "you can't have this person discuss the deal with us?" If it were me, I'd say run your own damn business and I'd spend my money elsewhere instead of catering to some old crone's self-esteem problems.

I think there should be a listing of these businesses and they should be boycotted as well as sued or run out of business since those are terrible businesses which shouldn't exist, period. I would happily boycott these places and if that incident happened to me, I would seek out whatever recourse I could.

So in reading about this, I realized that this is why you will never organize a truly proper pro-women's movement. It seems too many of these women are talking out of both sides of their mouth. Get the young pretty secretary fired for merely existing (no actions on her part) while claiming to want equality for women. I also can't get behind third wave feminists since they just want superior rights & to create offense out of thin air. I'm not for that.

There was an observation years back that conservative women are more attractive than liberal women on the whole. In light of this story, I can see why that could happen. Plenty of liberal women are hypocrites on the cause of equality of women and who wants to deal with that? I've generally been seen as smart instead of pretty first so many look at me as intelligent but I've had to deal with jerkoffs who'll tell me how it's great I'm a lawyer but then ask me out as though I have to put out to get business. That infuriates me and I definitely make that known to guys who do it. If they hate me for that, I don't care & I wear that proudly. Attractive women deal with that even more when they aren't licensed professionals so why would they want more shit from insecure harpies? The women's rights leaders should really examine this & ask themselves these questions, don't you think?

Does "The Scarlet M" Exist?

You may notice there's not been a new post lately. Well, one big reason for that is a very nasty divorce. Kind of hard to be yourself when your ex is trying to engage in character assassination against you. Never mind the fact that the motherfucker knew all about this character when he married you, took wedding vows, agreed to set up a life with you, that kind of thing. For someone to claim you deceived them after being in a long time relationship with you when you always stayed yourself & you have a hair color that shouts "I am different from everybody else!" is absurd in my book. Thankfully, plenty of rational people agree with me. I have found some of those rational people in the fashion world.

Not sure if this is just a trait of me or if this is something applying to all natural redheads or all smart people but I'm the sort of person that if you tell me not to do something or try to discourage me from it, I'm going to make it my mission in life to do it more just to piss you off. I also never do anything in life half-assed; if it's worth doing, you do it right & do it well or you don't do it at all.

Since my ex & his horrible family tried sabotaging my career six ways to Sunday & then some, it's my goal to land some job where I end up in a huge national ad or billboard in Times Square so that loser is forced to see me. He'll be forced to confront the fact that he threw me away, treated me like garbage & he so fucking lost out. Have I won? I don't know; I like to hope I've won by being a human being who didn't kill herself or let that piece of garbage take away everything she worked for. People hear about the circumstances & keep telling me I'm strong. One friend even told another, newer friend that he respected me. I'd like to hope he respects me for going through all this & not doing what most people would have in my shoes. I could have easily become a hopeless drug or alcohol addict, gone back to Mama's house, murdered my ex or menaced him in some fashion (which he totally deserves but I'd prefer a more random misfortune like an anvil falling from the sky & hitting him in the head like in a Looney Tunes cartoon).

In recent times, I've been doing more modeling & found my profile increasing in that world. These days, I've gone places & people who didn't know I was a model thought I was one. When I've gone to casting calls, people took one look at me & assumed I was a model. Seems I'm carrying that model swagger more than I did when I started out. The model hat seems to be really fitting me well at the moment & I figure so long as that ride is going, I may as well hang on, enjoy the ride and keep taking opportunities as I get them. I've started meeting more models & seeing the same ladies more often at various events and shows. That's sort of a plus in my view since you can build your camaraderie & your network in that way. People are also starting to see where I'm going and how modeling fits in with what my role in the legal world always was. Stupid The Angry Redheaded Lawyer is not. This model stuff is also a fine distraction from things along with the ultimate act of feminism in my book. But more on that soon.

One of the observations I've seen in modeling is a lot of people outside this world don't get it. A model friend told me recently she'd wanted to give up modeling for fear of what I call "the scarlet M." She'd been told by an industry colleague that as long as she was modeling, she'd never have a serious relationship with anyone (including her present guy).

Having seen this with my ex-husband, I told her that modeling or not was a choice she should be making on her own & for herself. We're talking about someone over 18, after all. It's one thing to say you don't want to be a model b/c you're sick of wearing the heels or the hustle & bustle of it is getting to you or you don't like the world or the people as a whole. It's another to have family members, significant others or anyone else try to shame you or guilt you out of doing it. I lived having people not support me in my modeling career & simply didn't feel she ought to be making a choice like that based on what she thought some guy would want or how he might perceive her. I told her about my own experiences & that frankly, any guy who wouldn't give you a serious relationship or stand by you in something you love is a guy not worth having in your life. That is a guy who doesn't deserve you or respect you. That's someone trying to sabotage you, steal your soul, basically deny you of who you are & your potential. No one should have that kind of power over anyone, be it a spouse, parent, grandparent, lover, whoever.

Now I don't think this colleague was trying to be nasty in saying that. It's no secret that lots of people don't respect modeling or the fashion industry as a whole. If you asked lots of people's significant others, I'm sure they'd be secretly thrilled if their loved one left the fashion industry. Some of them just might have more tact & respect to directly tell the person that. Or they're also married to people with the stubbornness of natural redheads & know their spouse will do what they want to no matter what they say since some of us won't be in marriages where we're treated like 5 year olds. Whether you should tell people that or not at random is a whole other discussion but I felt it my duty to give some advice as a woman of the world who'd been there & is now far better off not letting her spouse steal her bliss or her identity. Nobody deserves the stuff I've had to deal with.

I think there's a scarlet M in other ways, such as hate from other women who aren't models or pretty enough to even be considered models if they wanted to (and not just larger women since there are plus sized models & I've met them in my travels; we aren't talking Hollywood "plus sized" either). I'm sure if you started out doing this without building your education or getting a professional license like I did you'd also have problems with people taking you seriously as a capable, intelligent person. I can also see guys just assuming models are good for a roll in the hay but not to take home to Mama.

Since I'm crawling out of limbo & completely fearful of getting hurt again, I could care less if a guy perceives me as one to get into a serious relationship with. I'm too "been there, done that" to be worried about getting married like the average girl who'd never been married would be, especially if she's pushing 30+. I'm also too tough & direct to tolerate being treated like some side chick or secondary when I'm from the tradition of manners and natural redheads tend to engender obsession in guys they get involved with. We're rare, we have some superhuman aspects about us (science even says so; go look it up) & we're far more interesting; it's us & then there's everyone else. We're the natural divas & most of us know it (especially those of us who are models); we just try not to be assholes about it.

The upside of making mistakes is you hopefully learn from them & shut down familiar bullshit quicker and quicker. Once you get punched from that particular angle or you recognize a particular look before someone punches you, no one has to tell you twice to avoid the inevitable since you'll see the punch coming before it happens.

I may have even finally found my tribe in that world. Back in the day, I thought my tribe was the goth/geek culture. Until I started modeling, I never felt I fully fit into the cheerleader/model/sorority/"pretty" girl archetype (this despite being a founding member of a sorority chapter; we identified ourselves as being the antithesis of the typical sorority girl image). I loved getting to be a cheerleader last Halloween since it was the prime symbol of what I'd felt for years I wasn't worthy of being & it felt fitting to do that after everything that happened the year before. It was like "I am worthy of this now & I will rock it." I did.

Now why do I view modeling as the ultimate act of feminism?

1. No slut shaming. As I said when I started out 2 years ago, no one's going to tell you "that's too short" or criticize you or a designer for his/her outfit being too showy. That'd likely be fighting words.
2. If you're doing it right, you are going out on the runway as a confident, bold woman. Confidence, boldness and bravery (since going out like that requires not being afraid to go out in public and put yourself on display) are the ultimate feminist traits. How do you think rights for women happened? Women had to go seek them out & demand them, despite men trying to hold them back and keep them down. They still have to do that today.
3. You are going out as a proud woman. Feminism is about being proud of being a woman, not trying to be a guy (in my book, at least). It's about celebrating & respecting women, which is what we do with models. We celebrate their beauty & as proper guests, respect them & the designers for their craft. A real fashion show isn't filled with people catcalling and trashing the models.
4. Finally, it was patriarchy that told women to cover up. Men in the Christian church and elsewhere are the ones that have been telling women sex was evil and they should be ashamed for centuries. It's men who've told women to cover up in modern times & shaped society to function that way. Violating the patriarchy & defying men is most certainly a feminist thing to do.

For my own part, I consider it an act of rebellion since my ex and his patriarchy supporting relatives were down on me modeling & having that pride in who I am or how I look (which is completely natural). I've always been in favor of rebelling against nonsense & that's probably a big reason I'm an attorney. I also feel if my religious conservative mother & sister respect me modeling and support me in it, no one else gets to tell me not to or bash me for it. I'll just view them as being jealous assholes who wouldn't last a second there; as I stated before, a LOT harder than it looks. Having evil forces in your life stressing you out & trying to sabotage you makes it even harder.

Whether I end up getting serious with anyone again or not, I don't think me modeling is going to make a difference there. At this point it's "I do this so you'll take me as I am or I don't want you to have me at all." That's with everything, in fact. My life is too short & my time is too precious to settle for anything less. I wish all people viewed themselves that way. It would solve a lot of problems & prevent some bad marriages.

Chivalry: Is it Dead?

This is a subject that recently came up in my Facebook feed. A friend was asking this very question & I shared some of my thoughts. Also got into a debate with a male friend on the subject. I realized I was letting real life take me away from true writing again so needed to get some done. What better topic than the subject of chivalry?

I've always said that chivalry died when feminism arose. That male friend kind of said that same thing but apparently has far more faith in the present & continued equality of women in the US than I do. I see a lot of bullshit going on against women; you can read about it often in the news. Raped teenaged girls confronted with the "she was asking for it" defense due to being intoxicated or going to some house party late at night without parental permission. That dead pregnant woman in Texas who was on life support for months b/c the state cared more about preserving a nonviable fetus than the wishes of the family or respect for their grieving process. The presence of the term "legitimate rape." So on & so forth.

And when husbands who don't like their life's direction or salary bitch at their wives to "got get a job," even if that wife is taking care of little kids the husband helped contribute DNA to (or agreed to take on responsibility for by putting a ring on it), we certainly don't have respect toward women. I also think that's pretty disrespectful to the kids.

God forbid someone in the marriage gets laid off or sick or wants to start their own business. Isn't a spouse supposed to be supportive of what you want to do? Try to make things easier, not sabotage you or let others come in to sabotage you & make you feel like shit? That sounds like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation or a friend, not someone you have sexual relations with and who is supposed to be your "best friend." What kind of "best friend" flippantly tells you to "get a job," implying that if you don't you're a leech & will get kicked out of the home? That's what a woman (it's usually a woman) hears when a spouse says that.

After all that harping, once a woman does get this job (especially if it's one she hates or doesn't like) she'd have to be thinking "Why do I need this jerk around? He's not supportive of who I am, doesn't respect me & thinks of me as some kind of indentured servant or a sugar baby he's sick of having around."

I don't think a functional, happy marriage works that way. If you're holding out a balance sheet against your spouse i.e. thinking of them as a financial drain vs. the person you love, cherish, care about, and so forth, maybe you could cut expenses by being without her. That spouse would certainly grow to feel that way about you with all the harassment. Or, you can get off your happy behind & try improving yourself and your situation instead of taking it out on your spouse. You know, personal responsibility.

On average, women also tend to make less money than men & have had to forgo career opportunities and such for children and the marriage. Is this "equal rights?" That's kind of why we have alimony laws & women still get to ask for it in a divorce.

So, first off let's define chivalry. Chivalry is doing something nice for a lady out of a sense of manly pride. Not because you think the woman is a weakling or can't take care of herself. Ideally, you're not doing it only for the pretty girls & not the ugly ones. It's where paying for dates or holding an umbrella over her head or killing bugs in her house or telling some cretin who's clearly bothering her to leave her alone comes from. For me, it's those acts that if you didn't perform them huge swaths of society would think you're a jerk/scumbag/guy no one wants to be friends with or associate with/person who falls lower than pond scum on the continuum of human decency. I don't think I'd view you highly if you stood back & watched some woman get raped without even calling the cops, for instance.

If you are doing these things & resenting the woman or society for it, then to hell with you. You also won't be meeting very many quality women in that case since there are guys who won't give a woman shit for those things. The more desired women are going to have a lot of guys willing to do stuff for them & you being the biggest prick isn't going to win you any points or favors. It will just earn you rejection, scorn, incredulity at your utter stupidity & that kind of woman thinking you're an idiot for thinking you ever had a shot in the first place.

Another question is do we need chivalry? Well, I don't know if I'd say you "need" chivalry but if you're trying to impress a woman and get her to consider you as more than a friend you might not want to treat her the same as you'd treat the waitress or some random woman on the subway. She might like to feel she's special, you know? I view it all as simple economics and with biological realities in mind.

Personally, I've long been a recipient of gentlemanly behavior & usually without having to ask. I think it's only fair that some guy who could lift more than my 100 pound ass can helps me when I have to carry something that's heavy for me but would be no trouble for him. More disgusting when it's a mail delivery person who can't manage that. Changes your views of the fantasy of fucking the UPS delivery guy, huh ladies? Would YOUR fantasy delivery guy not bother carrying a heavy delivery up the stairs to your apartment? If he could do that & get away with STILL being a guy you'd jump in 5 seconds if given an opportunity, you have serious self-esteem issues since the women I know would never allow it.

Now I'm also the one who's had guys pay for her on things even when I wasn't dating said guy &/or he wasn't trying to date me. I had this one guy friend in college who had an interest in me but despite us having no sexual chemistry (we kissed & felt nothing), he still took me out for things & paid though he didn't have to. He knew I was trying to save money for the down payment on my first car & finances were tight so I appreciated him for that. THAT is an example of chivalry as well as friendship, though not sure how you'd really define that one. We ended up not speaking after I left that summer for NC (where I got my driver's license & started that relationship with Vampire Boy, who I met not long after getting the license). It wasn't really animus or not wanting to talk to him, just being busy & consumed with everything else going on. I called him a few months later for a business matter and found out he was getting married the very next day. Weird, huh? I never even knew he'd been dating anyone.

Altruistic actions like that always make me feel a little better about the human race & give me a little hope that not all people are jerks (especially men). I also pointed out to my friend he'd be a pariah where I grew up since chivalry (though not necessarily called that) is a big thing in the South. You try pulling some of that mess down there & see what happens. Don't think for one second all women from the South are weaklings; I'm not & I know plenty of others you wouldn't want to encounter in a dark alley if they were angry.

Maybe chivalry is just on life support or we're looking for it in the wrong places. I wonder how it translates to younger people; if they're still on board with that idea/concept. Are women put off by it or do they appreciate it? Yes, I'm a feminist but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate chivalry done in the proper spirit. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Even if there is, I'll just use the "I'm a model with a brain" rationale & the notion of scarcity (which I've discussed in other posts; go see them if you're that curious).